Things can get really sticky fast when one begins dating their superior. There are a few things to keep in mind to make things go a little bit smoother, however.
1. Know Their Motives
When dating your boss, be careful that he/she is not trying to manipulate you. They might just want a sexual relationship with you because they think they can. It may be a power thing. He/she may also think that you want to date them in exchange for favors. Just be sure that the other party are in it for love, not something else.
2. Don’t Make a Spectacle of It
If word gets out, others may begin to suspect that you ‘slept your way to the top’, or are receiving special treatment from the boss. You would not want your hard work diminished by others who think you exchanged sexual favors for your position (no pun intended). To prevent this, keep this as quiet as possible, in the workplace and in public.
3. Realize What You Risk
Understand that if the relationship goes sour, you may be out of a job. If it is a nasty breakup, some bosses will not be so quick to laugh it off, and they may decide that they do not want to see you around all the time. Beware of this, even before entering the relationship.
4. Don’t Ask for Favors
When you begin dating your boss, treat it like a relationship that has nothing to do with work. Don’t expect promotions or any special treatment, as that will make you look like a desperate opportunist, and your boss will think you are just dating him/her for that. Keep your dignity and don’t do that.
5. Is It Just Infatuation?
Be sure that you are not attracted by the power, and not the person. It can be sexy, dating someone who has control over us, but it is not worth it to do it just for that. Remember, only approach your boss if you like him/her as a person.
6. In the Relationship, You’re Contemporaries
It may be difficult to remember that outside of the workplace, you don’t answer to your boss. You can treat him/her like a date that has no power or control over you.
7. Make Sure You’re Not Violating Policy
Some companies prohibit superiors from having relationships with their subordinates. Make sure that your workplace does not have this policy, or you could unfairly jeopardize your job, and your boss’s.
8. Leave Expressions of Love Outside of Workplace
No sending lusty texts on your lunch hour or goosing each other when everyone else isn’t looking. Behave professionally in the workplace, as if there is no relationship, as challenging as it may be.
9. No Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram!!
This goes a long with not making your relationship public. Do not post anything about the boss on social media, because before you know it, everyone will know about it. No loving posts about each other.
10. Don’t Let Workplace Conflict Ruin the Affair
If you are reprimanded by your boss at work, you will have to try hard to not let this ruin your romantic relationship with him/her. It will be difficult, but personal and professional have to stay separate if you want the relationship to continue.
11. Don’t Slack Off
Sort of relating to the last tip, don’t let your work performance slip because you think your boss/date has your back. Not true. Sometimes, bosses are harder on their subordinate/dates when they become involved with them, attempting to eliminate any suspicion that they are involved. So, stay on your game when at work, as if you are not dating your boss, and you just need to do as well as you can to keep your job.
So many complications come with dating your boss that it may seem like an unnecessary risk when you think through it. There is nothing saying that it can never work, however. If you review these tips, and still determine that you can make it work, then go for it. Everyone’s different, and maybe you will find that you can make the situation work. If so, good luck!