Either too much or too little can be a very bad thing. When was the last time you found yourself interested in a cocky, arrogant guy? Umm never! So don’t the lady version of that douche-y fratstar. Try to be genuine and show interest in a way that doesn’t pump up your ego to astronomical levels. But don’t have so little confidence that you say things that are self-deprecating or avoid eye contact. Strike a balance between the flashy peacock and the quiet mouse and hit your flirting stride.
Again, it’s all about balance. You don’t want to smile and laugh exaggeratedly as you place both hands on his shoulders. Too much body language and too much touching for basic flirting! But don’t underestimate the power of a gentle arm graze or an accidentally-on-purpose leg bump under the table. Position your body to face towards him and point your toes at him when standing. This shows that he has your attention and you’re not disinterested. This forward-facing stance also gives off an air of confidence even when you may not feel completely comfortable.
Maybe you fail at flirting not because you lay it on too thick but because he doesn’t know you’re laying it on at all. A hair flip all the way across the bar or a shy smile on the street is unlikely to get his attention. Be bold! Make a move! Once you’ve hooked him, feel free to break out some of your more subtle moves. But to get his attention initially step out of your comfort zone and do something he’ll actually notice.
Everyone knows a little bit of liquid confidence might help you muster the courage to be extra flirty but don’t get carried away. Don’t be that girl, totally alone on the dance floor and feelin’ herself at 10pm because she took a handful of tequila shots before leaving her apartment. Having a drink or two or three is fine but when you start slurring and stumbling in your heels, know that you’ve gone too far. You’ll be overcome by the urge to saunter up to some random hottie, lean in too close and spit out the words, “you’re cute, wanna dance?” Don’t do it. Trust me.
Let’s be honest, if you’ve got a date with a guy you don’t know very well, there is no doubt that you’re stalking him on facebook, twitter, Instagram, and maybe even LinkedIn. So don’t kid yourself thinking he’s not doing the exact same thing to you. Maybe delete those embarrassing snapchat screenshots you sent your friends where you have 6 chins and maybe un-like the Nickelback page that you likes 8 months ago as a joke. Social media presence can be a first impression so let that impression be cool and flirty, not awkward. Before you go any further and a professional flirt, date-proof your social media pages.