So you’ve been dating this guy and your instincts/experience is telling you that something’s just not right. The sex is great, you like the same movies, you’ve tried every restaurant in town, but something’s still amiss. How can you tell the difference between a guy who wants into your life, and a guy who just wants into your pants?
It’s important to know what kind of guy you’re dealing with. Because, let’s face it, sometimes it’s perfectly okay if he just wants to get into your pants. He’s a hottie, but you know he’s not a keeper. You’ve been fishing before and thrown the fish back after you’ve caught it. There are some hotties that are those kind of fish in the sea.
But then there are times that you’re actually craving a real relationship about the same way your friends crave quality chocolate! If only you could have that one special guy. Someone who wants to be a part of your life for real, for keeps, and he makes your heart sing.
But that hottie made your heart sing. You’re pretty sure it was your heart that was doing all the singing. So, seriously, how do you tell the difference?
There are signs and symptoms for both types of guys. Maybe we go should ahead and explore the top five.
1. Does He Really Care What You Have To Say?
Yes, that is correct. Someone who wants into your life really does love you for your mind, as well as your body. That’s not to say that the guy you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, living happily ever after, is going to hang on your every word. That is completely unrealistic, and a little strange. But there will be quite a few things he appreciates and enjoys about the little things you say, the big things you discuss, and many things in between. These are the kind of things that draw people together.
2. Does He Participate in These Conversations With You?
Be careful with this one because some guys get tongue tied when they find themselves smitten with the girl of their dreams. But don’t wait forever to find out if he’s completely tongue tied or just coasting through your very one-sided conversations.
If it seems like the cat got his tongue and buried it out back somewhere with Grandma and Fifi, ask him what his thoughts are on the conversation every now and then to see if he’s even listening. If he’s tongue tied, he’ll stumble through an answer that is sort of relevant to the subject at hand. But if he’s not listening, you’ve just blown his cover. Consider it a warning flag.
3. Does He Put Effort into Discovering What Matters to You?
This is important, and a little advanced. Pay attention. Because there’s a difference between your guy funding your pet project as opposed to actually taking the time to find out about what it is and why you enjoy it so much.
That’s not to say that the perfect man for you is going to roll up his sleeves and whip out the glue to enjoy a fun filled evening scrapbooking with you. That ain’t ever going to happen!
But there’s a difference between handing you a wad of money and sending you to the hobby store, hoping you’ll leave him alone about the project, and someone who actually stops by the table to see what you’re doing, or maybe sits down and lets you show him the keepsakes you spent so much time on, and smiles because he’s in them.
4. Does he want to hang with you at your place?
Visiting with him on his turf is great and all, but you’ve got a world too, at your place with your things, and maybe your pets, and possibly your kids. Does he choose the easy road, the road that doesn’t involve getting too involved? That’s the guy who just wants into your pants.
And no, every now and then is not enough! Regular give and take is a must if you plan on having a functional relationship with your special someone.
5. How does he make you feel?
You should feel secure and happy with and without your guy. Listen to your heart. Does it feel like you are struggling to make this work? Or does this feel like the best thing that’s ever happened to you? There will be good days and bad days in any relationship. But one that’s worth keeping makes your heart sing.