This is an issue a lot of women deal with at one point in time or another, and it can be a heck of a cycle to break. Even unintentionally you find that for several relationships you have managed to get involved with a guy with several unattractive similarities, and all too often these poor relationship picking skills can lead to violence or some type of emotional or verbal abuse, serial cheating and things of that nature.
When it comes to breaking a cycle you may want to first take a look at where it began. This is something that is commonly found in the early adolescent years. Some say that their father was emotionally abusive to their mothers, and though they swore they would never ever deal; with the likes of such devastation, they continue to end up with a man that is just like their father. Others say that after experiencing an abusive relationship they continue to end up in these abusive cycles time and time again. For more serious cases like these it is important to get counseling to help with breaking the cycle, because abuse has long lasting affects that will continue to be toxic to not only you but to your future relationships and to your children as well.
There are guys out there that are serial cheaters, and many good ladies find themselves with them time and time again. This is also an abusive cycle as it has no regard for your emotional well being and puts you at a far greater threat of physical harm from diseases like Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome better know to the world as AIDS. Activities such as these can deplete even the most beautiful woman’s self esteem and confidence.
Take a look back at Rihanna and Chris Brown. After he beat her up she got with another man with a history of abuse. She then got re-involved with Chris Brown. She just couldn’t seem to shake abusive men or her abuser. This is pretty typical for women who are in these vicious cycles. It is not a matter of a gray area or choice. We all have a relationship pattern, but were these early foundations healthy? If not there is going to need to be a period of “reprogramming” so to speak. In layman’s terms, if your mom and dads relationship was unhealthy and you find that yours tend to be as well it is time to wipe the hard drive and start from scratch or nothing will ever change.
Even prominent couples therapist Deborah Dunn who wrote Stupid About Men said that “It’s not uncommon for women to keep going back to the type that wronged them in the past.” The trick is figuring out where this unhealthy attraction comes from. Be it negative or positive these taste preferences are normally created at a very early age. Psychologist say that these familiar relationship patterns and the highs and lows of these unhealthy relationships are almost addicting to some women. Betrayal bonds are formed, and breaking the chains can be next to impossible at a healthy point in the downward spiral that is sure to come.
No guy is perfect, but if you are miserable all the time, walking on eggshells or loosing site of who you once were you need to take a step back and may even need to reach out for help. If you find he is isolating you from family and friends run for the hills! Also, never allow anyone to belittle you, steal your dreams or your individuality. Any man worth having will embrace all of these things and the alternative is unhealthy.