While some still believe a baby can save a relationship it has been proven otherwise in most instances. Now, a baby can strengthen an already close relationship, but it is not going to save a failing one. Even the thought of that is unhealthy, and it goes deeper to even more potentially warped views surrounding their relationships.
If you are saying, that is not true! A baby saved my aunts, cousins, brothers relationship then either the story changed a little before it got to you or they are one of the 2% that actually had a chance to begin with. It was not the baby, but them, that made it actually work!
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One must consider that once the anticipation and the huggy, lovey, cuddly baby expectations have came they will quickly be replaced by labor, crying, sleep deportation and dirty diapers followed by drool, tantrums and a very demanding little person that requires a lot of attention and money. When the decision is made in unison that keeps down resentment when the bubble is busted and the fact that things wont be as picture perfect as expected begins to settle in. Not that baby’s are not amazing, because they are.
From another standpoint, a child will bring forth feelings of protectiveness, obligation and maternal or paternal instinctive urge to love and provide, but these things are all surrounding the child. While you are pregnant it will of course include you, but after the baby is born those feelings begin to separate from you and focus on the child. You are an individual, and using a child to make someone love you normally causes more resentment than it will love. It is a family affair, and the decision to have a child is a big one. Do not take away someones right to be included in that life changing moment. It certainly wont win you any brownie points.
If it is too late or if you did decide to embark upon this journey then be realistic and always communicate. Listening is an essential part of communicating. Having a baby doesn’t make you or your partner a mind reader. Do not set expectations on one another that are unreasonable. Never use the child as a chain or a means of control. That will make your partner hate you and damage the child irreparable. If you even ponder these things parenting classes and counseling is highly recommended.
Lastly, if you do have a baby together then work together rather you remain in the relationship or not. Co-parenting is essential, and remember, one thing a baby will do is tie you to that individual for at least 18 years. Make is as healthy as possible. Again, never use the child to manipulate the other person.
In a perfect world a child will have two parents in the home, but in the real world many don’t. A baby is never an option to save a relationship, and that is a tall order to put on a little person anyways. It could never turn out good for you or them, so if you bring a child into the world make sure it is for the right reasons.
