Validation means to prove that something is true or acceptable based on the facts. When it comes to sex, do men seek validation through it? Of course they do, don’t you? Even the most promiscuous and carefree human who sleeps with whoever, whenever, is still getting the validation that they are carefree or promiscuous through their sexual adventures. But there are so many different “types” of men out there to sleep with: fuckboys, one night stands, cheaters, and your guy – the love of your life. Can they really all be seeking validation through sex? Yes. But not for the same reasons.
Fuckboys will do whatever they want to whoever they want as long as they’re able to find someone to take home with them. You should never engage in a committed relationship with a Fuckboy because they likely won’t care about your commitment and cheat, or just hurt you. If a Fuckboy’s main purpose is just to sleep with as many people as they want whenever they want, what could they really be seeking validation for?
Of course each person is different, but if we were to make an assumption about the Fuckboy’s based off of their actions, we could assume that they seek to validate their dominance and manliness through sleeping with a large number of people without caring about that person’s feelings. These Fuckboy’s may have low self-esteem and being able to say they slept with 4 different women this weekend is how they show the world that they are an attractive person who is able to find a mating partner.
One Night Stands/ The Hookup
Your eyes meet across the bar, he buys you a drink, you laugh, you dance, and before you know it you’re bumping uglies at his place. You leave and never see him again. He was most likely seeking to validate the same thing that you were with tis one-night stand. Whether they had just gotten out of a relationship and wanted to prove that they could have emotionless sex with a person, or that they can get any woman they want if they tried.
Men who cheat on their spouses, fiancé’s, or partners are literally scum. But what is it that drives them to cheat? Why are they having sex with another person? What is the validation that they are seeking?
This one can get tricky because it really depends on why they cheated. The main validation men who cheat are searching for is that they’re still desirable to other men/women. This could be because they’re afraid of commitment, they haven’t felt that your desired them any longer, or they could just turn out to be a Fuckboy (learn more about Fuckboy’s in an earlier paragraph). If your man cheated on you because they didn’t feel desired by you IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. They should have talked about what they were feeling with you first, instead of going to find someone else.
Your guy is the best. He’s the love of your life. You two wake up every morning with each other in your arms. You make breakfast together and fight over who’s turn it is to take the trash out. You’re both 100% committed to each other and you both know this. Surely, your guy doesn’t need to seek validation through sex, right? Wrong. Even when in a long term relationship, engagement, or marriage, your guy is still going to seek validation through sex. Unlike the other types of men we’ve talked about, your guy isn’t trying to seek validation to brag to his buddies, or prove his self-worth, he’s trying to validate the love and passion in your relationship. Having sex with you isn’t just about him getting off, it’s about you and him being able to connect and feel that passion you both have for each other.
So there you have it. All types of men seek validation through sex, but all are doing it for different reasons. Whatever their reason is, and whatever your reasons are, be sure you’re always safe when having sex and get tested regularly. As always, have fun!