Catcalling used to be a loud “hey baby, looking good” a whistle or something of that nature while walking by a group of guys hanging out or in a construction zone. Nowadays it is far more aggressive. Women seem to be naturally on defense because it is such a common act. As women we run into this so much that a simple kind gesture may become questionable and leave us agitated or confused. We simply can’t let our guard down and in the back of our mind we cannot help but feel there has to be something attached to it; some ulterior motive of sorts.
There are times that his gesture will in fact be simple and innocent. Women have been conditioned to read into things as a safety net. We have to see bad or dangerous situations before we are in the middle of them. This makes it only natural when we are approached by some strange guy walking down the street to immediately be on point. We create walls and put up defenses while reading into every word. It is almost as if we do not want to be rude, but we do all we can to disinterest the man.
These unwanted and spontaneous engagements can leave us scared, nervous or aggravated. There are very few that leaves us with a smile and a giggle. These unwelcome advances only makes it hard for women to engage in a healthy way with a man who is genuinely interested in her of jump.
Sadly we as women have forgotten how to say thank you. I have noticed that when I see men hold the door for women going into the bank or the store. Women are scared to open the door of conversation fearing more of the same. You know, that one guy who once held the door, you said thanks and he followed you two blocks trying to get some play. Yeah, well that guy seen to it that the lady in question never said thank you again for a man holding a door hence avoiding opening an entirely different kind of door.
Think though about the guy next door. He would help a lady pump gas rather she was 19 or 90. He holds the door, stands when a women walks into the room and so forth. He is stuck with the remnants of what a-holes who are not respecting women as they should be have left behind. Yes those guys still exist and they are getting the raw end of the deal. The simple truth is there is just no way to tell how a man is until it’s too late. Either they have turned into catcaller or you have put your defenses up so high that you have offended or turned him off.
Tips on how to deal with catcalls realistically and safely.
We should never argue or become combative. Sometimes we take catcalls in stride, but then there are those times where catcalls become lude gestures that make us want to shout and scratch their eyes out. Most of the time these are just “boys being boys” but we do not want to become confrontational, because there are some monsters out there than look like one of the boys. You do not want a chance encounter with a mentally unstable or possibly violent man. While it is a great idea to never engage with one of these lewd creatures it is a grand idea to take a self defense class.
The world has gotten a little scary, and catcalls are nowhere as innocent as they once were. Self defense classes can be quite empowering. You learn tricks on how to break away and how to respond in a bad situation. Not panicking is huge when it comes down to the real thing. You may go through your entire life never needing what you learned in self defense classes, but if it saves your life one time or clears some fear as you walk down the street then they are worth the time and money spent.