How to abstain from sex in a relationship when you’ve already been getting busy

It seems that thanks to the way our society has gone, more and more couples are opting to abstain from sex for a certain period of time. It’s being done in the hopes of strengthening their bonds and hopefully builds not only a more wholesome bond, but a stronger relationship.

Some have a hard time making this arrangement work and this is usually because one of you isn’t on board. The transition from having copious amounts of sex to having a sexless relationship is hard, but it’s not impossible if you have enough patience and willpower.

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That being said, you cannot just wake up one day and decide you’re not going to have sex with your partner anymore. You need to be clear about what you need and what you want from them, otherwise you’re not being fair and creating a breeding ground for pointless arguments.

Choosing to abstain from sex is a lot like choosing to go on a diet. It will shift every aspect of your life and if you’re not careful, it’s easy to get caught up on the things that are problematic in your relationship. You should never leave your partner in the dark about something that is going to affect them as much as it’s going to affect you. You should really be sharing everything with your partner if it is going to affect them.

Since you’ve been together for some time now, you know one another’s triggers and how to push them. Avoid those triggers when transitioning. For example, if you know that touching the back of his neck turns him on, don’t do that. Try replacing those acts with less physical ones that promote emotional bonding, like cuddling.

You’re the one setting the example for your partner, especially if they’re a little hesitant about the new arrangement. You need to stand firm in your decision so your seriousness is portrayed properly. You can’t engage in loopholes, like receiving oral sex and hand play. It’s not easy being in a sexless relationship with someone you’ve already had sexual relations with.


It gets easier as time goes on and different habits are formed and while some slip-ups are ok in the beginning, there should be intent and conversations set to ensure you’re both held accountable and kept on track.

Abstaining from sex is a lifestyle change many are taking seriously nowadays and affects you in physical ways but can be beneficial spiritually, emotionally and mentally. It affects how you interact with others and the way you view and love yourself. There are going to be highs and lows, which can be more expected in a relationship where you really want it to work with the person you love. Again, it’s a tough transition but it’s not an impossible one.