How to Handle Parents Who Are Not Happy About an Engagement


While you might be extremely excited about getting engaged, not everyone will always share that thrill with you. It’s unfortunate, but there could be a number of reasons they have for not being so thrilled for you. Parents, in particular are difficult to handle when they aren’t so happy with your engagement, but you need to make sure you handle the situation with tact.

  • Understand their side. Most of the time, parents won’t understand why you want to get married to your S.O, and some of these you may see as unfounded or silly. However, you must understand that they have their reasons for feeling this way, so you should get to find out what those reasons are and why they feel that way. If you can understand, then perhaps you can talk about alleviating those worries. And sometimes, they have very valid concerns about the situation, so ensure that you take that into consideration instead of just dismissing them right away.
  • Explain your own side. While it’s important to hear them out, it is equally important that they understand where you are coming from. There are a variety of reasons for getting married, perhaps you feel that you have to if you’re pregnant, perhaps you feel it would be wise financially, perhaps you are in love. Whatever your reasoning, be sure you explain them thoroughly in an effort to get them to see why you want to be with him. Try and have a list of your reasons and long term goals with your fiance and with your own life to ensure them that you are thinking of the whole picture.
  • Try and let them get to know him better. Though they probably know enough to have such a strong conviction against him, try and get the family together to try and change their minds. Maybe they just haven’t spent enough time getting to know him or don’t feel that they understand him well enough. So if you get them together, perhaps they can come to more of an understanding than before.
  • If nothing else works, remind them that it is your life. It’s always hard to stand up to your parents, we always want to make them proud and want them to agree with our decisions. But at the end of the day, you might have to remind them that you are the one living your life and making your own decisions. If it ends up going south, remind them that you will deal with it as a mistake, but that it is your decision to marry who you like.

It’s never pleasant to do something when your parents don’t want you to, but just ensure that it is the right thing for you. Sometimes parents are onto something and may help you to make a decision, but they may also be holding you back. You are the one who knows your parents and your fiance the best, so it is your decision at the end of the day, and they all need to understand that.