Is it okay to be ‘friends’ with your exes on social media when you’re in a new relationship?

Is this really a question? There are very fine tunes rules depending on the situation and the friendship. The thing to remember is that there are 3 people involved now and all should be considered. You should not blow off a longtime friend for a person that you hardly know, however if you are moving into a more committed relationship then you may want to consider how to adjust things in a way that is fair to all. Introduce them and maybe they too can be friends. If you keep it secretive then it is bound to become an issue, and that is especially true if you are chatting them up while your counterpart is in the bed wondering WTH is going on! Use the golden rule, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

MUST READ:  Dealing With Your Ex at Special Events

This is a definite no, but there are some exceptions that do apply. For instance, if you have children together it is ok to be friends on social media for photo sharing and the like. Anyone who tries to interfere with a baby daddy, baby mamma relationship needs to be dismissed anyways. Your kids need you both in their life, and it is a sign of insecurity anyways. No real man or woman is going to be threatened by a person co-parenting or wanting to be as involved as possible. A healthy relationship with the ex is a good thing.

If you have been friend for years and the relationship was back in junior high then there should not be an issue. That is unless you are spending more time and more openly sharing intimate things with them than your current relationship. If there is a feeling of having to compete then it is wrong. Find a way where they do not have to feel like they have to compete for your time or attention.

If you have feelings for them then you definitely should not have them on your page. Hey, it happens. Maybe they left you and you are hoping someday they come back. In the mean time you are moving on with your life. That is not fair to the person that you are with and karma is nothing to play with. Most importantly it is unfair to you, because you are complicating an already complicated situation. You do not need to be involved in a love triangle that almost ale=ways ends up with someone being hurt.

It could be that you broke up with them and keep them on the line as you back up. Again, this is unfair and comes with its share of karma dents that will eventually have to be repaid. If you are playing games like this you should not be in a relationship at all, because it will get messy. Unfortunately the egg will be on your face.

If here are no romantic feelings on either side then it is no big deal as long as the pother person is not legitimately uncomfortable. You do have to keep the other people’s feelings in mind. If this is not something that you are willing to do then it is not time to agree to be exclusive or totally committed. If you refuse to let someone go maybe you need to reexamine your true feelings for all involved before you lose what you really wanted all along.

The thing is that there is an unwritten rule that friends of the opposite sex invite trouble. Relationships and bonds could grow, and loyalties can get blurred. It is a good idea to avoid these types of friendships if you are really moving forward into a committed relationship unless special rules apply and all parties understand the reasons for the friendship. With that being said, never give up a true friend for a fair weathered romance.

It has been said that you can count your true fronds through your lifetime on one hand and not fill it up. Do not jeopardize something real for something that is temporary. If you are lucky enough to be a sucker who did this and lost both the love and the friendship then maybe you will be forgiven, but the betrayal is always there. You have to use your mind and your heart with this one. If you have any reservations either way do nothing until you are positive about what you have chosen to do, and be honest with everyone involved. You do not want to harbor resentments in the future.

Reply