Let’s get it on! How to keep your child from walking in on you during a quickie

We all need a little alone time now and again, and it’s only natural that you and your man need some time together too. Unfortunately, that can be really tricky when dealing with a busy schedule and kids that can walk in at any given moment. As much as you love them, it can be very difficult to get that time you need without being interrupted. But here are some tips on how to get that loving feeling out of the way before they interrupt:

  • Locks on the doors. This is the big one. Nothing is more awkward than a child walking in and seeing mommy and daddy doing the nasty on the bed. So be sure you lock that door, both so that they won’t end up in therapy for the next 20 years and so that you can have the warning to be able to tell them to go play for a few more minutes.
  • Change the location. It can be difficult enough to get the time together that you both need, but sometimes the solution is just to change where you two get busy. For example, do it in the shower. Most of the time your kids won’t interrupt a shower anyway, so you might as well use that time to your advantage. Bonus: there will be less cleanup.
  • Keep them occupied. If you can keep their attention on something else for the amount of time you will need to finish, it will work out for both of you. Some ideas are to send them to do a chore, such as raking the leaves; or to send them to give a letter to a particularly windy neighbor that you know will keep them occupied for a little while. Another idea is to let them watch a favorite movie or play a video game so that you can be sure it will keep their attention for a longer period of time.
  • Have them clean their room. Cleaning their room often takes a little while, at least long enough for you two to get some quick loving in there. Bonus if you tell them to clean everything including vacuuming so that when you hear the vacuum go off you can be warned that they’re done and will be coming for you soon.
  • If all else fails, go out. If nothing seems to work for long enough, perhaps you and your man need to have a set date night where you can be sure that your child will be taken care of, but that you can be sure to get that time you need. It might not be as often as you were used to before you had a kid, but afterword it’s taking what you can get.

Having an intimate life with children is more tricky than most people understand, but it’s also necessary to ensure that you can stay close to your man and keep yourself happy. Sometimes ensuring that it happens will require a bit of juggling on all ends, but hopefully you can figure out the best way that works for everyone.