Nine Things a Woman Thinks When Going Down on a Man

Men think their junk is pretty easy to work with. Well, remember they don’t call it a blow job for nothing! Going down on a man may look easy but there are all sorts of thoughts running through our brain as we make a trail a kisses down to your package. Not only do we think about looking all types of sexy, we also have to worry about being good at it as well. It’s pretty exhausting! We all know men are pretty vocal in what they like so now it’s our turn. Here are just some of the thoughts us women have while we’re giving head.

MUST READ: How to Talk to Your Man about Manscaping

  1. I hope it’s not a forest down there. Just like you don’t enjoy us women being all bushy, we appreciate it too when a man does a little manscaping. There’s less of a chance for us to get large wafts of “man scent” and also makes your package look bigger. So give us the courtesy and give a little trim down there.
  2. Should I look at him or not? We want to be the sexy vixen that you can’t get off your mind, but some of us definitely don’t know if we should look you in the eye or avoid eye contact. Maybe we should just close our eyes. Or maybe we’ll face away from you.
  3. No teeth! Or my lips are going numb. Either way, we need to make sure we don’t accidentally hurt your little friend. Then we worry about how to take it all in without scraping, biting, or suffocating.
  4. Can we have sex now? If it’s been a while, we want to pick up the pace a bit. If it’s been over 20 minutes and we’re still down there, our jaw may start to hurt, or our neck is beginning to ache. Soon you’ll just be doing all the work as we lay there.
  5. What do I do with my hands? Do I grope or massage his balls? Will he like that? Maybe I should place one hand on his stomach. Should I use both hands to help the process? Maybe I’ll just use my mouth. Damn I almost fell. See, the placement of hands is very important.
  6. Don’t push my head down. Some women are not ready for their inner porn star or sex goddess to come out, so they aren’t ready for you to go shoving her head down on your junk. Then you’ll have to deal with the gagging as we try to recover.
  7. Is he enjoying it? Oh my God, what does that face mean? We’ll try to decipher what your expressions and faces mean when we steal glances. Are you really into it? Are you faking it? Or maybe I’m just doing a great job and you are really enjoying it. Also, do I look like that?
  8. I must figure out the best position to do this in. We agonize about what position we should give a blow job. Some of us prefer our knees, that is until they start to hurt. Some prefer to lie on our side but then that can get awkward. Sometimes there are those who want to be at an angle where they can show off their body to get you even more excited.
  9. Should I swallow? Oh the question. Should we swallow or spit? Then if we decide to swallow, we worry about the taste or the amount. If we decide to spit, we have to worry about whether or not you’ll be offended by it. Decisions, decisions.