Divorce is always an incredibly complex issue, and there are many issues that need to be taken into consideration when it happens to you. One such issue is that of your name, is it worth it to change it back to your maiden name or keep the married name? Here are some reasons you might choose either:
Reasons to go back to your maiden name:
- You won’t feel associated with him any longer. It will feel as though he is completely gone this way and that you will be reverted back to before the marriage. Not having his last name will help you to heal.
- He won’t be able to feel like e has any sense of claim over you. While not all men are like this, it will ensure that if you two fight he won’t be able to hold that against you. Having his name might feel like he still owns a part of you and he may use that against you, so if you get rid of it then he will have nothing to say on that.
- It would give you a sense of finality. Oftentimes it takes a while for it to really settle in that a divorce is completely final, and changing the name back to your maiden will help to create that sense. It might take you a bit longer to remember to introduce yourself by it, but you will at least be making a bit step in finalizing it with yourself that it is reality.
- If you don’t have children together, you can completely separate yourself. There isn’t as much of a necessity for staying around him so you might want to be able to completely remove yourself from your ex.
Reasons to keep your married name:
- If you have kids, it can feel more cohesive. This way there won’t be as much confusion with the school or in familial aspects if you all share the same name.
- It’s less hassle. If you want to change your name back to your maiden name, there is more paperwork that is needed for you to get your documents and files changed. While it seems like something minor, sometimes it can be easier to just leave things as they are and not worry about it as much.
- So that it will give you more encouragement to move on and maybe get married again. If you have an ex’s last name, perhaps you will see it as encouragement for gaining a different name in the future.
Whatever you decide, it’s what will make you the most comfortable and what will end up being best for you to move on from the divorce. Things happen, and the last thing you need is to dwell on the past.