First dates are really exciting but they are also really nerve racking. The main concern for the majority of women outside of whether you will actually like the guy if you get to know him is whether or not you will get asked on a second date or not. Making sure that you don’t say anything to embarrass yourself and how much of yourself you should reveal to him. Let me start by saying that the worst thing you can do on a first date is start talking about what a great father and husband he will be or getting all philosophical and spiritual. Research has indicated that the best communication style is a flexible one. These ideas are not rules for conversation, but they should stimulate your creative juices enough to get the conversation flowing.
The main aim of a first date is to discover the following:
a) Whether or not you have a connection.
b) If there is anything that will make you a total mismatch.
Human beings have been wired in such a way that when we start building an emotional attachment with someone we find it difficult to break away. Therefore, it’s important to find out early if there is any reason why you shouldn’t get attached to this person.
Do you like to take a specific type of vacation?
This is a great question because if you are going to get into a relationship with someone going on vacation together is important. If his idea of a fun vacation is hunting in the mountains and you like to dip your toes in the crystal blue seas of the Bahamas there might be a problem.
How has your day been?
This might appear to be a boring question but it has a good purpose. You want to find out what kind of attitude he has and so if this question leads to him ranting for 30 minutes about how much he hates his boss, you better make a quick exit!
What are your friends like?
Men love their friends and you will rarely find a guy who will ditch his friends for a girl, sorry to tell you but they’re just not like us. You might as well accept the fact that when you get into a relationship with a man you are also getting into a relationship with his friends. We have all heard the saying “birds of a feather flock together.” If his friends are the type of guys who go on vacation trawling for sex with random women this might not be the type of guy you want to get involved with.
Do you like animals?
If one of you is an animal lover and the other isn’t, you may run into some problems later on down the line.
What do you like doing in your spare time?
Firstly this question will help you to establish if this guy actually has any spare time or if he’s a workaholic. Secondly you get to know what some of his preferences are and if they match yours or not.
What are your passions in life?
This question will help you to determine whether he is an intense person or not.
Do you like your job?
If he doesn’t like his job ask what his plans are for getting a job that he does like. If he likes his job, ask him what his career aspirations are. If he doesn’t like his job but he’s not doing anything to change it there is a high chance that this guy isn’t satisfied with life and has got some deep seated insecurities.
Who are you living with?
If he’s 38 and still living with his mother you are dealing with a mummy’s boy and you should expect to take on the roll of his mother. If you are okay with that it’s up to you. If he lives in a bachelor pad with 10 other guys you could be dealing with a player.
Are you close with your family?
No family is ever going to be perfect but if it appears that there are some major issues you might want to reconsider.
What is your favorite food?
This question will give you an idea of other restaurants you can go to in future or dishes you could cook for a night in.
Do you drink, smoke or do drugs?
If you don’t do any of the above you might not want a partner who does.
Have you seen any good TV shows or movies recently?
This question gives you an indication of the kind of things he’s interest in. It will also provide you with ideas for future movie dates.