Motherhood is one of the most amazing things that could happen to a lot of women out there. Having other humans trust and depend on you can seem terrifying and equally exhilarating.
However, you must have heard the saying that motherhood is a full-time job. All the stress and burden associated with the usual 9-5 careers are evident in child care, sometimes even more for those that juggle between maintaining a career and minding the kids.
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Hence, you find yourself exhausted after a full day’s job with little or no stamina left to attend to the needs of your partner. In this article, we will discuss how to have quality time with your partner, even after being drained by the kids.
#1. Involve your Partner in Childcare
If your partner was previously not active in attending to the daily needs of your kids, then it is time to involve him. Research has proved that sharing chores is one of the ways to bond with your partner and kids. It is also a time to create pleasant memories with your family.
When your husband is involved in caring for the kids, some of the pressure is eased off your shoulders. You are no longer too exhausted for a couple of times, and the time spent together is increased.
#2. Make Couple Time Fun Time
Spice up your time together with your partner. Don’t merely have sex within the little amount of time you get to spend with him.
Yeah, sex is great, but when your couple time is spent on sex alone, you would both want to rush through the act and get some sleep. Soon, the act of sex becomes an obligation that you are reluctant to fulfill.
Why don’t you improve the activities you do with your partner? Hug each other, converse on each other’s day, play games, dance, etc.
Let your time with your spouse be something you look forward to having.
#3. Stay Away from Gadgets
Probably you must have been away from your phones and laptops all day, or you want to catch up on your favorite TV shows. Once your spouse is with you, you should do your best to stay away from phones and laptops.
When you replace your time together with technology, you are creating a bond with the gadgets. Time and energy you would have bestowed on your spouse.
#4. Go on Dates
With the constant demands of the kids, date nights are often relegated to a thing of the past. It’s time to revive it again. Every two weeks, choose a date or more to go on a romantic date with your spouse.
Date nights are a great way to reaffirm your love and affection to each other. Get a babysitter or a close friend/relative to mind the kids. Go on a date, have dinner, watch a movie, visit the opera, spend pleasant times together.
#5. The Ten Minutes Rule
As exciting as sex is, don’t merely jump into it. Reserve ten minutes for foreplay. Cuddle, kiss, and touch each other.
Research states that cuddles and kisses reduce stress levels. They also increase intimacy and give a secure feeling to both partners. If you’ve been searching of ways to reduce stress and pay adequate attention to your spouse, the ten minutes rule is the best place to start.
Cuddles and kisses must not necessarily lead to sex. You could both drift off to sleep while wrapped in each other’s arms. You’ll wake up more deeply connected.
#6. Smile Often
Smiling is one of the easiest tips. Smile at him at every opportunity you get, for little or no reason at all.
Smile at your spouse with love and affection, maintaining direct eye contact. As a social being, he is very likely to respond, thereby assuring him that you have time for him.
#7. Discuss Feelings
A lot of couples avoid discussing feelings with their spouse. However, discussing each other’s feelings strengthens emotional intimacy.
Tell your husband about how you felt about various happenings during the day. Did anything happen with the kids that imparted on your feelings? Did your husband do anything that made you feel good or bad? Did you meet or learn anything new?
Have these discussions with your husband. You shouldn’t be afraid to let your feelings known to him. When you trust him enough to show him how you feel, he, in turn, will do the same, and you’ll always look forward to spending time with each other.
#8. Exercise Together
There’s a possibility that you are not getting enough workout while taking care of the kids. It’s time to revive your gym time.
There is obviously no better way to achieve this than doing it as a couple. Find a time when the kids are asleep or preoccupied, get into the gym, and have fun together. Alternatively, a walk or run or even yoga will do. The ultimate goal is to spend this time with each other.
And the fascinating aspect of it is that exercise boosts your self-esteem as well as your libido.
#9. Go on Couple Vacations
Going on vacation with your husband alone is one way to create time for you both as a couple. Take the kids to a trusted family or friend. Book a weekend or more at a friendly resort and spend time doing what you both love.
Try not to go with your gadgets, stay off the internet, and focus on yourselves.
The time spent will deepen your connection with your husband, and offer you quality time together to focus on the essential sides of your relationship.
#10. External Activities for the Kids
Don’t restrict kids to yourself alone. Allow them time out to build a friendship with their agemates. Register them to dance classes, sports clubs, and any other kids recreation centers that suits them.
While they are out, spend time with your husband. Engage in activities you both enjoy, go on dates, have intimate conversations, etc.
Conclusion
Kids are no doubt amazing in a marriage. However, you mustn’t focus all your attention on the kids and forget your partner. He’s human after all, and he was there before your little ones.
If you think you have been neglecting your husband while caring for your kids, try out these tips and bring the fun back into your marriage.
