A male employee resenting a female boss is something that has been happening and there are a variety of reasons why that is still prevalent. First of all, congratulations if you have been recently promoted to head one company’s department or unit as a female! Chances are that your diligence and impactful insight has paid off and you now work within the ranks of the company’s board, among the major players and decision makers in the company. Most importantly, you are excited and can’t wait to show your subordinates how great of a leader you have become and how you want to transform their career and guide them in the right path.
While you are excited about starting the new day as boss, you discover something is amiss. Some of your male employees don’t like you, let alone appreciate you. Why? Because you are a female boss. They resent you becoming their boss.
There are several reasons why they may resent you – one is the male ego. The male employees feel their egos will be punctured if they have to follow their every instructions, now and then. It doesn’t go down with most men having to do what women tells them to do, so therefore, they make life a living hell for you as their female boss. However, you are their boss and shouldn’t tolerate such insolence from them. If it happens that you discover this behavior, you may have to sit him down one-on-one as colleagues, not as a boss – employee thing. Have a serious talk with him to know his stance. If he is uncooperative, I’m afraid, you have to lay him off.
Another reason for their resentment is your age. While some people would actually attribute your success of becoming a boss to hard work and consistency, others may think that you got to such a position due to some connections with a member of the board, relationship, or even blackmail. The male employees will assume that you are too young to attain such a position so quickly, especially if you are basically their age. They feel you are inexperienced to head such a department or even the company’s branch. Hence, the resentment.
The last, but not the least is the gender opportunity game. This is how it plays out. If two men vie for an opportunity and one of them gets it, the other may say, “he deserves it”, or “the better man won”, or “I stood no chance at beating him”. But, if he concedes to a woman, he may think that the only way she earned such an opportunity was because a female is their boss – the gender opportunity game. The male employees will have the notion that the female boss will use every chance or opportunity to elevate the careers of her fellow female. Call it feminism or favoritism and you may not be wrong.
Here are major signs that your male employees resent you as their boss.
He relates with his male colleagues than he relates with you
He doesn’t need to be insulting towards you or flout one or two office ethics, but he is happier relating with his male colleagues than he does with you. With you, it’s all about being formal and strictly office business. He greets formally, drops a file on the desk and the next second, he is out. He only responds briefly when you ask him a question. But with them, he is all cheering and interested in knowing about their welfare.
He doesn’t volunteer to help and encourages others not to
Have you ever been in that moment where a small job is thrown in the open at the office and no one cares to attend to it except it’s assigned? This is the exact same feeling a male employee does if he is under a female boss.
He is not quick to volunteer to work. He distances himself from office affairs and will never stay up late to meet a client’s deadline. He lacks the zeal to work and isn’t bothered whether his behaviour is causing any inconvenience. This is a big sign that he resents you and is not ready to work with you.
He gets any chance to avoid you
This is a common occurrence among many male employees who work under a female boss. He gets the slightest chance to avoid seeing your face, let alone talk or even say hello in the morning. He may avoid even answering your call when you need them.
He may start developing excuses not to attend a meeting, show up late more often at work, take frequent breaks, and may avoid schedules that will clash with yours. The more comic one is he may decide to take the stairs when he sees you in the elevator, or take the elevator when he sees you in the stairs. If you ever notice this kind of attitude amongst your male employees, then, you know that they have one or things against you.
He doesn’t maintain eye contact with you
Talking about an employee’s body language, maintaining eye contact is one of them. If he dislikes you, he will find it difficult maintaining eye contact with you. Don’t mistake his not maintaining eye contact as being timid. This is way beyond that. It simply means that he resents you.
He keeps his distance from you
This is another negative body language. When you call for him, he tries to maintain a distance that isn’t professionally healthy. He stresses you out and grudgingly take a step each time you urge him to get closer to hear what you are saying. Sometimes, he is uninterested at what you are saying and you will have no option than to drive him out of your office. This is a sign that he resents you.
He finds ways to set you up for failures
I’m sure you have heard of stories of employees sabotaging their bosses. In this case, the males are the ones leading the charge.
He finds the slightest chance to sabotage your efforts. He could leak some vital information to rival companies or firms, flout some company policies, or refuse to work as a team player. These actions could potentially lead to a colossal failure as a result and the male employees will play the blame game. The male employees don’t respect you enough because they obviously resent you being their female boss.
If these major signs has happened or is happening to you, you are risking your working relationship with your employees and that’s not good because failure will be inevitable. You will never be successful as a boss if you don’t sort out your differences with your male employees. Like stated here, one thing you must do to get them on the same page with you is by sitting them down and talking things over. If you are able to convince them to work with you, fine. But if otherwise, you just have to let them leave your space.
