A lot of women are facing lots of disappointments in their relationship just because they found out that their man has a child he didn’t mention at the unset of the affair. The world is full of men with so much history; if you ignore a man because he has a child with another woman, you may as well remain single for the better part of your life because almost everyone has a skeleton in their closet.
When you choose to date a guy who has kids at home, your life could change in a way you never expected. If you naturally love kids, you can manage the situation well. Your relationship with him involves accepting his kids as well. The earlier you begin to realize that, the better you can understand your role. Your guy might be a single parent, divorced, or had a late wife. You have a significant role to play, no matter his reasons for being a single dad. He will put the kids first, and you have to get used to it if you are interested in the relationship.
The most important thing is to make sure your man loves you just the way he likes his kids. A good man who has kids and still wants to keep another woman in his life would find a way to balance things up. Your man should love his kids but not make it glaring that there are first in his life. This could lead to future troubles in the relationship. So it is best to find out what kind of man he is before you agree to stick with him and the kids.
You should avoid seeing the kids in the first stage of the relationship until you are sure it is getting more severe and that he wants you in his life. It is easier to win little kids over than grown-up kids. Small children often do not know why their dad is single and would be happy that some other loving woman will take care of them. Older kids, however, will feel that you were the reason behind their parents’ marital issues and disliked you for that. They will show signs of rebellion, but you should not allow it to get the best of you. Put yourself in their position, and you will get their reasons.
You should try to prove to the kids that you are not what they think. If possible, do it in the presence of their dad. If there is any protest from your guy about that method, then you need to consider breaking off the relationship. If it happens that both of you have kids, a lot of jealousy will be generated in the relationship, and that will be more challenging. You will have to make the kids see the other kids as equal.
It is true you will never replace their mother, but as you prove yourself, the kids will come to accept you as a mother. They will start giving you all the respect and attention a mother deserves from her biological children. Depending on what they want to do, they will seek your permission before doing it.
You have to accept the kids if you must stay in the relationship. Some men will want some time with their kids, and this could trigger a bit of jealousy in some women. Avoid being jealous unless you are not interested in spending the rest of your life with your man. Loving other people’s kids like your own are often trying to do, but by being fair and open-minded, you can do it.
Since your relationship involves kids, rules should be set for things to work. Let your man know and discuss some areas of misunderstanding with him. Your life will be affected either in a good or bad way when you date a guy with kids. Your relationship will work if you are willing and ready to put in more effort. You are not the only person in a relationship involving kids, therefore, show capability and responsibility and love your man like never before.
