The purpose of dating is to have fun and determine if it is physically and emotionally safe to be with your partner. Finding a partner to spend the rest of your life with is a serious process. Dating gives you time to learn more about your partner and discover if you are compatible with them for a long term relationship. It is risky to be vulnerable before you really know your partner well.
Why date more than one person?
When you are from a single phase of your life, which is lonely and your judgment can be paranoid. These relationships tend to grow in full intense relationship without really knowing the person you are dating well. It is advisable to de-intensify the relationship in the beginning so that you can have a healthy dating relationship. To de-intensify you might need to date more than one person so that your romantic fantasies are not directed to one person. Dating other people gives you a chance to build a reality check for you to compare one from the other.
Is it wrong?
Yes and no. Yes, because it can be accidentally be messy and no because it helps you figure out who you really want to be with. Someone carrying on a conversation with one person is tasking with two people it is a full time job and this can easily mess up.
Rules to follow when dating more than one person
- Do not tell the parties involved that you are dating more than one. It is overwhelming, but remain impartial about the whole dating situation. When one asks if you have plans for Saturday just put them off by saying you are busy; no need to extend it by explaining that you are meeting up with a friend. That will stir up their curiosity because everyone one wants to feel that they have your undivided attention.
- Do not cross the line. Remember, we said dating was a chance to learn about the other person. You would not want the other party investing too much emotion in you. The fact that you are dating multiple people, it does not give you the right to sleep with any of them. Consider health and emotional sacrifices you have to make. Every action has its consequences. Do not take an action which will leave you regretting, sleeping with one of the partner means you have made up your mind to settle on them.
- Is it right to assume they are seeing other people? It is a good idea to assume that the person you are dating is also dating others. It’s hard to tell whether they are dating other people, especially if you met on a dating site, but assuming they are, eases your emotions than assuming they are not only to find out they are.
- Is there a rule on how often you communicate with your partner? Be yourself is all you need to know. Do not limit yourself too much that you feel suffocated and do not over do it. You do not want to swam their phones with texts, but calling at the end of the day is ideal and find out how their day was. In fact communication during dating is not what you say, other than how you say it. This means that a bad thing can be done poorly or well, the determinate being how you communicate the message. If your date requests to see you over the weekend a quick response to it that you will be busy is a bad thing done well. If you know you are not available and you wait until the d-day and your date calls you that’s when you give excuses, that’s a ticket out of the relationship; it is a bad thing done poorly.
- How long can you date more than one person? Do not wait until both of you have invested too much in the relationship and be left hurting after a break up. One month or two months at most are enough to determine if you want to continue with your partner further or you want to drop them.
- How old should you be? Dating more than one person should start when one is at least 18 years. At this age one is capable of making sound decisions about people and situations. If you date more than one person we do not mean you outdo yourself with 5 partners at the same time. That is a lot of work; you still need some alone time, so a maximum of 3 at a time would be ideal anytime.
The three rules of the thumb to note when dating more than one person are
- Honestly inform other people apart from your partners that you are dating more than one and the reasons why.
- If you initiate a physical relationship with one partner, be sure you have decided on them and let other dating partners know you are in a serious relationship.
- If you become too romantic with one partner it time to drop all the others and exclusively date one.
