Social anxiety disorder can simply be termed as the fear of negative evaluation, they are concerned about peoples’ judgments towards you and the worry that you may be rejected. Most people experience social anxiety, especially when faced with some situations such as walking into a room full of people already settled down and you do not know them or having to deliver a speech. Social anxiety can be problematic and interfere with one’s life. Socially anxious people find themselves avoiding situations which they might be evaluated. Such people find it difficult to interact with new people and they can easily get an anxiety attack.
Steps to follow when dating people with social anxiety
Understand the condition
Whether you are suspecting your date suffers from social anxiety or you know it, it is important to understand the condition as a whole. The fear of being judged by others causes fear of making mistakes, look bad, being humiliated or embarrassed in front of others. Anticipatory anxiety happens before the actual event your partner is to participate in and it can build up to panic attack. They know that their fear is unreasonable, but they do not know how to overcome it.
Social anxiety can only be diagnosed by a trained professional, although there are obvious signs to look out for which could indicate that your partner has it. Such situations include the fear to start conversations, fear to address authority figures, fear to give speeches and fear to go out on dates. It is simply feelings that cause inability to remain relaxed.
Initially use impersonal means to communicate
When you realize the symptoms of social anxiety in your partner, you might want to go slow on setting face to face dates first. Initially, use text messages and emails to communicate. Then introduce phone conversations because these people find it easy to open up and communicate better if they are not with you face to face. You will learn about their values, feelings and thoughts, and from that you will know if you are mutually compatible. However, do not let technology to substitute personal interaction. After all is done, you need to build a face to face interaction for the relationship to grow. Talking on the phone lessens the tension when the two of you meet face to face.
Focus on an enjoyable activity
For your dates, choose enjoyable activities which both of you will participate in. A conventional 
date is more relaxing, but a romantic dinner where you sit down and make eye contact, eat in front of another person and expected to keep a lively conversation going on can cause an anxiety attack. Activity based dates are ideal, activities are very important, especially if both partners have shared interests in the same activity. This will keep you busy through the date and better you will have something to talk about by the end of the day. It works like magic on strengthening your bond. Consider activities which are not scary and are not in places with crowded spaces which might create bad episodes; they would rather not be in them. The idea might be noble but it might not work for them so you need to be patient with your partner. Choose places such as the amusement park, carnival or the zoo for a start.
Have a plan
Part of the anxiety disorder can accelerate due to uncertainty causing stress. In order to get rid of unnecessary stress by having a clear date plan and let them in on it from the beginning to the end. Some of the things to be discussed include where you will pick them up or where you will meet, what you will do during the date so that they are appropriately dressed and the time you will start and end of the date.
Medication and therapy
Be informed about medications that are prescribed to treat the disorder. Sometimes anti-depressants or benzodiazepines are recommended for anxiety disorder. Antidepressants have contraindications which can be as mild as causing nausea to serious contraindications like sexual dysfunction. The more you understand this, the better and smoother your relationship will be.
Before taking medication, therapy is effective in treating anxiety disorders. You can accompany your partner to the therapists to encourage them and be more informed about the condition. It also prepares you for how well to handle your partner when tough situations arise.
Nevertheless, some people might not know they have the anxiety disorder or they might not be willing to get help. Wait until they are calm and ask them to get help, if it does not work get close relative who can talk them into getting help. If they don’t give in after these attempts, just know that the relationship might not work out, but it was not your fault because you tried your best.
