Approaching a guy is hard enough when he is easy going, but approaching a shy guy can be tricky. They don’t play by the same rules, so you really have to know how to go about it. Knowing a bit about them is the only way in. If you are lucky you will have access to some of his friends. There you can gain valuable information about who they really are, their moral beliefs and the things that they like to do. If you don’t know anyone close to him you may have to play it by ear, so stick to safe topics when making conversation.
With shy guys you usually have to take charge initially.
Once you bring a shy guy out of his shell it is most likely going to be completely worth the work, but believe in the beginning you will be the one putting in the work. You have to draw him out, and make him comfortable with you. The work starts at the moment you approach him. We say work because you have to be strategic from the first moment of contact, otherwise you may send him running for the hills.
Do not tale a shy guys lack of flirting or inability to ask you out as a sign that they are not interested. They probably will not initiate the first date or give you any play at all in the beginning. This is because they are shy, but under the surface they may really be crushing on you.
We are lucky to live in times to totally embrace women’s independence. Asking a guy out is a pretty normal deal nowadays, so he won’t feel put on the spot. You also should be confident and not feel awkward about it at all. If you are interested, approach him.
The initial phase is the toughest
Getting the ball rolling with a shy guy is the toughest part. Once his inhibitions have relaxed you are good to go. However, you will want to prepare yourself for the revelations to come. Because he was so shy there will be much that you do not know about him. You will either learn to dig him more or be totally turned off. Shyness is a tightly closed door, and you never know what is behind it until you are in.
Watch for signs that they are interested, because they will be subtle. He is not coming to you directly, so you will have to take the first steps.
Learning how to read the behavior of a shy guy is essential to even knowing what the “interest” signs are. Be flirtatious, but do not overdo it. I mean, you certainly do not want to come on too strong or embarrass him extremely. Go light, and make him comfortable. That is the key; he needs to feel comfortable so he can slowly let those guards down. You do not want to wind him tighter, but loosen him up while letting him know that you are into him. Sometimes that will take patience.
There are many reasons people can be shy, and you should never toy with them. They cannot help it and a severe blow to their feelings can make it even worse. If you are not serious about the guy then let him pass you by, because they need encouragements and not disappointments that could drive them deeper into themselves.
Shyness is a part of the human nature of some people, so they can’t help it. Once you get him to open up to you then you may have found your soul mate. If not, then let him down easy, because these are oftentimes some of the best people you will ever meet if given the chance to come full circle and truly be themselves.
