Deciding whether or not to take a guy back can be a tough and emotional decision. You are already heartbroken and taking him back could cause heartbreak all over again. In situations like this, it’s difficult to think with your heart and not your heart. Here are a few things to consider before you make the decision to take him back or kick him to the curb.
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What is he doing? Is he calling you and showing up at your house? Is he performing grand gestures in hopes of winning you back? Or is he sending weird, evasive text messages about your relationship? If the former, he gets points for trying. If the latter, it’s time to dump him. Risking rejection and being open should score him major points in your book.
Why did you break up? Did he cheat on you? Did you just feel like you needed a break? The reason for the breakup can be an indicator of the relationship. If he betrayed your trust through cheating, you should be more skeptical to take him back. Lies and betrayal can make it very challenging to repair a relationship. However, if your relationship is especially strong, even cheating may not break you up. If you broke up for less serious reasons, think about whether or not it’s worthwhile to get back with him.
Are there other men in your life right now? You may feel the urge to take your man back because the two of you have history. But are there any other guys you would like to get to know better? Maybe that cute guy who chatted you up at the bar last weekend or the friend-of-a-friend you met at your friend’s dinner party? If you have other options, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and explore.
How happy are you? Breakups are tough and of course some days you’ll be sad. But are you happier without him? Do you find yourself feeling more free and less stifled outside of the relationship? If yes, maybe you should try exploring single life for a while. And be honest with yourself, would you be happier with him? I’m not just talking on days when you feel like being in a relationship; I’m talking every single day. If you can’t say he makes you happier than you would be every single day, hold off on getting back together with him.
Do you have a plan? Have you come to an agreement with terms and conditions? Have you discussed why you broke up in the first place? And has agreed to change the behaviors that caused the split? Taking a guy back is easy, but staying with a guy you shouldn’t have taken back is way harder. If things are going to go back to the way they were and he isn’t going to change, end it. If he seems like he really wants to make changes for you and has listened to your concerns, maybe consider giving him another chance.
