Is it really possible to have sex with your husband while other men fills your mind?
When a woman falls in love with that special man, he becomes the center of everything in her life; he becomes her supporter, friend, protector and the man who fulfills her every sexual fantasy. One of the joys of being in a relationship with your man should be that he can always turn you on with his voice, fulfill all your sexual urges and fill your every sexual fantasy but when you start imagining another guy when having sex with your man, feelings of guilt will threatened to overwhelm you.
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Fantasizing about another man while having sex with your man is not totally wrong, in fact some psychologists even say it’s good for a healthy relationship so far it is not done regularly. This is because it is important for you to have a certain amount of independence in your relationship, so that you won’t lose who you are, by trying to be who your partner wants. And part of being yourself is fantasizing about other guys once in a while; you might have dreamt of having sex with one of the Hemsworth brothers, it is normal.
Thinking about another man when having sex is totally cool if you are not doing it anytime you are having sex with lover; if you think about another man every time your lover kisses you, or hugs you passionately, it is a sign that there is something wrong in your relationship. It could be that you have fallen out of love with your partner, or that you are nursing suppressed anger towards him, or that he is not satisfying as much as your last boyfriend did, amongst a whole of other things. It can also mean that there is something that you are going through that is affecting your relationship with your partner and the best way your mind think it can deal with this problem is by imagining someone else other than your partner when you both are having sex. Whatever the case, it can make sex exciting and fulfilling but it is not healthy for your relationship.
It can be oddly satisfying if you keep imagining your ex having sex when you are having sex with your husband. Anytime your partner touches you, you begin to think about that other man or men, pleasure fill your body. Though it might seem that these fantasies keep your sexual life active, it will damage your relationship in the long run. You may unknowingly stop enjoying intimate moments with your lover; his vulnerability might begin to irritate you. You might stop enjoying your partner’s company altogether; this is because as a couple your sexual lives have a major hold on your relationship. If you continue to fantasize regularly, you may cheat on him with the guy you think about the most. It can lead to constant fighting and you might let it slip how your boyfriend isn’t good in bed and in the end, the end of your marriage.
To avoid hurting your partner and yourself, you need to discuss these fantasies with your partner if they are happening regularly. Don’t say it in such a way that he will feel bad about not being able to fulfill your sexual fantasies but say it in such a way that he will understand that these thoughts are coming from a problem in the relationship. In fact you can even avoid talking about the fantasies and focus on the real issues behind the fantasies. Do you think he is cheating on you? Are you mad about something he did or said? Are you secretly in contact with your ex? Or are you still in love with your ex? Whatever the case maybe, sit your man in your calm environment and talk him about the things that needs fixing in your relationship. Also if he doesn’t know your body like your ex-lovers, teach him how to do you right. Tell him the areas that turn you on the most. When you are in bed, tell him how you want him to do it and where; tell him if you want it slow or fast, whether you want him to grab your neck or leave a trail of kisses down your neck. Never be afraid or shy to talk about sex with your partner! Communication is the key to everything in a relationship, if you can communicate to your partner how you are feeling, the problems and how you want your sexual experience to be, the thoughts might fade away and your relationship will be as strong as ever.
And as a husband, if you notice that your wife has been distant lately and sex is not the same as before, or more painfully if she accidentally mentioned someone else’s name during sex, try to talk to her in non-confrontational manner. Remember you are trying to fight the problem not her. Most people won’t easily talk about their sexual fantasies especially when it involves another man so be patient with her; let her know that you love her no matter what and you want to understand why she has suddenly change during sex. With this approach, she might be able to talk to you and tell you what is bothering her then both of you can work together and fix it.
Thinking about another man when you are in a relationship with your partner might leave feelings of guilt hovering over you and your relationship, if not on a regular basis then there is totally normal. If on the hand it happens anytime your man touches you, then something wrong either in your relationship or with you, instead of falling into guilt and avoiding your partner or refusing to have sex with your partner, try to assess your relationship and figure what is either wrong with you or the relationship and tell your partner so that you can tell your partner. Sexual attachment is very important in marriage; your spouse should always be able to turn you on.
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