Spare the rod and spoil the child, shouldn’t be the reason for you becoming that extremist disciplinarian parent, without noticing when your child is troubled and wants to share their pain with you. It all becomes lousy parenthood if your kids are not free enough to share their fears and worries with you. Putting moderation to your yelling and scolding would do more harm than good in making you that one in a million parent to your kids.
Being the disciplinarian parent is excellent! Never the less, there should be a limit to your rigidity, to enable your kids to have the feeling of care and love of parenthood. Without hesitating to share their pains, fears, and uneasiness with you, should the need arise?
My relationship with my daughter is superb; she is eighteen this year. She is never afraid to share her worries, pains, and confusions with me, no matter how confidential because I always ensure my advice and judgments are not rude and biased.
Despite my relationship with her, my daughter still regards me as a role model with no tolerance for indiscipline and a true friend.
I have been able to maintain such relationship by being flexible in my approach to my kids, without being so hard on them and always want to hear them out.
For parents with the believe kids should have limits to the way they talk and behave towards elders, by knowing their place in the family. This might sound strange.
In my own opinion, I believe it’s best for one to play both roles of parents and best friends to their kids. In our societies today, influence from peers, school, and the social media can leave our kids with the wrong perception towards life. When you fail to be the parent and friend to that child, you won’t have control over such influences thereby making your child vulnerable to many things.
When parents play both roles of disciplinarian and best friends, the kids gradually lose fear for parents and easily seek advice from parents without hesitation. My daughter, for instance, tells me everything, even when she is crushing on a boy. She freely turns to me for advice when she starts crushing on a boy because I always care to listen and always ensure she is on the right path.
Definitely, at some instances, children will heed to advise from peers and friends. We all did same at their age. But being a parent and friend to your child puts your advice and decision first in their daily activities and actions. They see you as a role model, and will always ensure not to get you upset.
Having a good relationship with your kids helps the escape certain mistakes teenagers. I had never been too hard on my daughter when she makes mistakes because I want her actually to learn from those mistakes. Over time I noticed she gets more haunted when I’m disappointed in her, making her more effective when making her decisions in order not to get me upset.
This way she is more conscious of her actions and behavior. Although she makes mistakes occasionally, less often than supposed, because of the existing mother and daughter relationship between us.
Conclusively, I would say it’s best to have a balance between being a disciplinarian and a best friend between your child and you. For a better relationship and influence over their beliefs, actions, and perceptions to aid them in becoming responsible adults with good morals and characters. As a parent, you should know how to find the right balance between the two as you raise your child. Being a staunch disciplinarian will harm the parent-child relationship you have with your kid. This is very bad because once you can’t get to know your kid better because he is terrified of you, your kid will grow to lead a life without you. Also, when you are afraid of of correcting your child because you don’t want to ruin the relationship, you will not only hurt yourself when things become uncontrollable, but your kid may even blame you later in life of letting grow wild when you had the chance to set him right.
