For starters, let’s establish that dating more than one person aka circular dating may not be all bad depending on why – the big MOTIVE! If you haven’t found ‘the one’, or you’re not sure where you stand in a given relationship, it may be acceptable to test the waters. However, if you’re simply greedy or insatiable, someday you’ll go from ‘many men’ to ‘no man’.
MUST READ: The Real Reason Why He Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With You
Now the big question: Do I tell the guy I’m dating that there are others and how do I tell him if I must?
There are several answers to this one question depending on the particular scenario as relationship is not “one size fit all”. What may work in one relationship may not work for other relationships. And let’s not forget the big motive I mentioned earlier. That being said, let me try to provide answers for the most common scenarios and if I didn’t address your scenario, kindly mention it in the comment section below.
First scenario – casual dating
I personally don’t think it’s necessary to mention other dates to your date since you’re just casually dating and getting to know each other because that may be disrespectful no matter how nicely you put it.
Okay, let’s turn the tables around for a second – how would you feel if you’re on a date and a guy puts nicely “I’m dating other women alongside you, nothing serious, just wanted to put it out there in the open. I hope you’re okay with that?” Sound cute? No it doesn’t, unless you’re also dating other men. It may be okay at the moment until he makes honest mistakes which you would’ve otherwise forgiven, such as; he innocently doesn’t pick your calls or was too busy to respond to your texts, or he’s late to or regretfully cancels your date. You’ll catch yourself wondering “maybe he’s with his other girl(s)”.
That kind of honest information leaves room for a lot of assumptions, low self-esteem, jealousy and unnecessary stress. You honestly don’t need that amount of problems so you end up saying ‘sayonara’ and that would be the end of perhaps, a would-be blissful relationship.
Now because men are naturally territorial, especially ‘serious-minded’ men, how much more crushing will it be when he imagines you with other men? Remember you’re casually dating, so, he’ll immediately take you for a joke and you’ll become just another piece of ‘ass’ wasting each other’s time.
Second scenario – you don’t know where you stand in a relationship
I’ve seen many women play this card just to get their man serious about the relationship. Sorry to hit you with the hard truth but a ‘serious-minded’ man doesn’t need help realizing the gem in front of him. So, you don’t have to tell him “I’m seeing other guys”, just to stir up jealousy and competition. You’ll succeed though (with men that are egotistical), but for how long? By all means, I’ll say, go ahead and test the waters, there’s little time so no need spending it being uncertain or unhappy and yes, no need to tell him. Perhaps if you find someone serious and you’re willing to commit, then you can very nicely tell him “I’m seeing someone else, bye!”
Third scenario – you know where you stand but…
If you’re already in a committed relationship and you meet another guy, it would be the right thing to mention from the start that you’re in a committed and healthy relationship. Sometimes, the other guy might persist and you unconsciously start gravitating towards him (thus the ‘but…’ I mentioned earlier). I’ve seen people in committed relationships end up with someone else out of nowhere so maybe that’s where they belong. Besides, if you were really happy or content in your committed relationship, you should’ve informed your man that someone was bugging you and you needed him to stop but you didn’t 😉
Meanwhile, if you’re wondering how to tell your man that you’ve met someone else and you’re leaving him, this is how.
Fourth scenario – open relationship
Some relationships for some weird reason, allow for external intimate relationships with other partners. If that is the case, sure! Let him know “hey! I have a man but I wanna get with you”. More so, I’ve seen people change in open relationships. They start loving and caring for their partners then they become jealous, possessive and are no longer okay with the cheating! Bottom line is: I don’t think a man who really likes a woman will ever be okay with circular dating – so know when, how and why to say what you say – get it?
Thanks for reading but hey! I’m no expert and even my advice may not work for everyone within the same scenario. Personally, before I found ‘the one’, I was ‘serial’ dating because circular dating is a lot of work for me. So, find what works best for you but apply some reasoning and don’t be a fool 😉
