Sex has a weird effect on people. It can make feelings occur in people who otherwise wouldn’t give you the time of day. It can make people insecure. It can even make people take bigger risks and give them a rush of endorphins. Everyone reacts to a good romp differently.
With guys, you can sometimes see some really weird behavior after sex. We’re not talking about the typical rituals of cleaning oneself off or rolling over to fall asleep, either. Once in a while, men will do stuff that’s so strange, it leaves girls speechless or freaked out.
We decided to ask girls what were the strangest things men did after they had sex. What we heard was insane. Here are some of the strangest stories we uncovered…
Loss Of Bowel Control
One girl by the name of Jennie* said that she had a one-night stand with a guy who was totally enamored with her. When they had sex, he was extremely excited by the foreplay and eventually had a really explosive orgasm while ontop of her.
Then she smelled it–much to her horror, her date lost control of his bowels!
According to her, he apologized profusely and later told her that this has happened to him on other dates. What made it stranger is that he was a younger guy and didn’t have any health issues to her knowledge.
Crying
Amanda* had a one-night stand that seemed to be going very well. The two hit it off, had a quickie, and it was fairly casual. No kink was involved, and it seemed fairly normal to her. What wasn’t normal was his reaction after the fling. He began to cry!
Amanda never found out why he was crying, but it could have been a hormonal issue. If you get a case of the blues post-sex, you’re not alone. Science has shown that the hormone fluctuations sex gives can cause depression or even crying bursts in certain people.
Bragging About Past Conquests
This behavior is so jaw-droppingly rude, it’s hard to believe. File this one under “W” for “WTF?”
Two girls came forward with similar stories about flings they had who started to brag about sleeping with other women in the past. It’s a total dick move that is never warranted and can be seriously hurtful to partners.
But, what makes guys act this way? In most cases, it’s a mix between insecurity and a lack of self-awareness. It’s their way of talking themselves up, not realizing how bad it comes across to sex partners!
Weird Munchies
Tori* had a one-night stand who apparently had a habit of getting strange food cravings after sex. Once they wrapped up their fun, he immediately rushed to the kitchen and began to eat canned tuna without a word. Perhaps he needed to boost his protein after that X-rated workout?
Apparently, this isn’t too unusual. Both men and women can get food cravings after an orgasm. That said, it’s usually not something as pungent as fish.
Having A Total Meltdown
Most of the stories we heard involved flings that were relatively normal until afterwards, but not this one! Kelli* had sex with her long-time crush, only to have him orgasm almost immediately. She made the mistake of giggling when she realized…and the results weren’t good.
Her fling froze up with tears in his eyes. He then kept stammering about how he’s unattractive, walked out of the room naked, grabbed his dog, and started hugging it. He then stopped talking until she left. Yikes!
Kelli isn’t the only one to see a guy’s ego get shattered after things go south. Many women experience guys who have meltdowns after a bad sex session. Considering how much men worry about performance, this shouldn’t be a surprise. Be gentle to guys’ egos, girls!
Watching Awkward TV Shows
You know what is sexy post-coitus? Pillow talk, snuggling, or listening to some smooth music. You know what isn’t sexy after a romp? Watching cartoons or a bad sci-fi movie. According to Lisa*, she had to deal with both issues on a regular basis with her ex, Adam*.
Compared to some of the other weird behaviors girls have seen on this list, this habit really isn’t that bad. It’s awkward, sure, but the right girl will be totally cool with it.
Try To Serenade The Girl
In rom-com movies, it’s common to see guys sing a romantic song to their love. On screen, it comes off as a romantic and sexy gesture that would melt any girl’s heart. In reality, most guys who attempt this move at any time will just look a little foolish, especially if they can’t sing.
Jasmine* had an ex who overestimated his singing talent and tried this move on her after they first had sex. It didn’t impress her. She explained, “It took me every ounce of energy not to tell him to shut up.”
Despite that, the two dated for several years. Who knows? Maybe it did work after all.
Stealing Panties
Donna* had a one-night stand that really freaked her out. After the two fooled around, she went to the bathroom to clean herself up. When she came back into the bedroom, she caught her “date” with her panties in his hands, bunched up and pulled close to his face.
Shocked, she asked him what he was doing. Her date didn’t really admit that he was sniffing them, but instead, asked her if he could keep a pair of her underwear under some random pretenses. She obviously said no, then asked him to leave.
Later on, she noticed another pair of panties gone.
“I would have been okay with this if he was more direct, but the way that it happened was so bizarre, I just asked him to leave,” she explained. “After I saw he stole another pair, I made a point to warn others of his weirdness.”
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