This does not have to be a deal breaker. Give your guy and yourself a break. Things happen, and this is an issue that happens a lot. You don’t know because people rarely talk about it. It can be a real blow to his ego. Sure, it can be tough on you too, but you should never take it personally.
Even the best guys have their not so manly moments. It always seems to happen at the worst moments though. For instance, right as you are getting really into it, all is going well and pleasures are rising right about the time that something else is falling. Yeah, his erection goes poof. This does not have to be a tragedy. All you have to do is follow a few simple steps. Start first by nit freaking out or saying something to make it worse, which can be tough if you were “right there” when it happened.
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Know how things work. His brain is signaling the penis through nerves to relax vessels so blood flow is better. Pressure keeps the blood there, and that is what keeps him hard. When it goes soft, it is just the opposite. A guy can’t help what his brain is telling his body to do or why, Go with it, and try to ease his discomfort rather than making it worse. Not only is he probably embarrassed, but he is also worried about how you are feeling too.
Do not lay the blame on yourself. This is not an issue with you, and it in no way implicates that he no longer finds you attractive. Be nice. It is not you, and you are not a turn off. However, if you are stressing him out about it or acting like you are disappointed then it could put performance pressure on him later. Think about how he must feel. Do not make him feel less of a man for something that he cannot help, and a lot of times this is exactly what happens in the heat of it all. Be mindful of your reactions verbal and otherwise. His is a critical moment in a man’s life, believe that. How you respond to it will say a lot about you to him.
Things like stress, nerves, depression, alcohol or substance abuse, tobacco, low T or other health issues and extra weight can all play a factor in it. It could be signs of a serious issue. If it happens again or more repeatedly it may be time to see a doctor. Go to the doctor as a couple, and show your support for him and the situation. Reassure him that you are 100% by his side supporting him along the way.
When he loses his erection then try oral sex, manually stimulate him with your hands and play around a bit, but done hold out hopes that it will get hard again. It may or it may not. You can talk about it, but wait for the right time. Wait until he has built his confidence back up. Ask how he feels and be supportive and reassuring.
Also, mention that is he likes to masturbate that he should loosen the grip some. That is one reason for ED. Having too firm of a hold on things can really damage him down below. Also, keep him heart healthy. Penises are not an on demand thing, and they don’t run on batteries. There are a lot of other ways to “have sex” without penetration, so lighten up and have fun anyways.
The world of sex can be a lot of fun. When you open your mind to the options that are available to you then you can do anything, even help him get it going again. If you don’t get things back on track then don’t huff and puff, play around instead. Try some new things and really spice it up a little. Your main objective can be to drive him out of his mind. Just because his body is not responding doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling maximum pleasure, so don’t be afraid to step outside of the box ladies. Taking the gears may be just what the doctor ordered.
