Has money issue ever come between you and your spouse? Do you wonder why partners quarrel each time over money matters? You are not the only one going through that problem with your spouse. No couple can say they are free from the disagreements that finance brings into a relationship.
This calls for a better way for couples to manage their incomes and the money that goes into their joint account.
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If you and your spouse don’t make a substantial agreement about who controls the finance, both of you may have to get ready for regular arguments. To avoid constant quarrels over money, try to avoid the mistakes most couples make.
Marriage and Finance
Finance is one of the most important factors that could make or mare any relationship. Sadly, most partners ignore this aspect of a relationship until money becomes a problem and escalate to a severe problem.
It’s essential you talk about money from the unset of your relationship, especially when you both are going long term and probably will get married.
A high percentage of divorce today is caused by money problems and a couple’s inability to manage money, and if this issue is not handled effectively, you would have a problem dealing with it in the future. Money issues have a way of killing the love and affection between couples, thus must be treated with great care and attention, especially if your marriage is still recent.
You do not have just one partner take care of the financial aspects of marriage for the following reasons.
Keeping Separate Bank Accounts
If you think that keeping separate accounts is the best way to solve money issues, you are really wrong. When you and your partner spend money the way you want, and each of you pays bills separately, it may look good at the start. But as you stay together for a longer time, you will discover that you have just laid the foundation for a severe marital issue.
It is better to have a single account where the two of you save your money and use according to an agreement. Remember you promised to be united in everything you do and money is also part of the deal.
Having separate accounts have never been a good idea because of the problems it brings to a marriage that ordinarily shouldn’t end in divorce. Keep your money in one account and be transparent with the amount each of you earns.
When you operate separate bank accounts with a partner that’s careless with money just because you do not want to get involved, such partner may end up failing to keep to his or her financial obligations which will in-turn affect the general well-being of your family.
Thus, you should study your partner to understand his or her financial capacities then get a joint savings account where you both save and plan for the future. That way, you can both manage your finances while you still enjoy the independence of having your own financial freedom.
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Disagreeing About Lifestyles
It is usually challenging to see couples that have a similar lifestyle. If there are, they may have made adjustments to accommodate each other. If you have a higher taste than your spouse, it is going to pose a significant obstacle to the progress of the marriage.
When your income cannot support an expensive lifestyle, your finance is going to suffer, or it could lead to constant arguments in the bedroom.
There is no perfect marriage anywhere, but you and your spouse can resolve this issue by visiting shops where your preferred items are sold cheap. You should make adjustments to ensure that your lifestyles match your income.
Regardless of what you wish to have, if you spend more than you earn, you are in for a financial crisis sooner or later. Avoid the urge to show off on Instagram and live within your means. It is better to have enough money in your account than to be an Instagram celebrity with an empty bank account.
One way to agree on lifestyle is to always talk about it with your spouse. Plan vacations together, and even if you have to go overboard to pay for that luxury bag or shoe, you shouldn’t let it replace the financial needs of your family.
Mismanaging Personality Issues
You will always have to deal with personality differences for as long as you are together. One of you may be the easygoing type while the other is more of a thinker than a talker. You may like to spend on anything that gets your attention while your partner prefers to put money on necessary things only.
These differences are typical and should not be allowed to cause arguments between both of you. The problem isn’t the individual differences but the lack of interest in the finance by one party or the inability to listen to what your partner has to say about spending money.
Create time to listen to what the other has to say and make your input after they are done speaking. It is an opportunity to work together as a formidable team.
If you are the type that likes to be in control of what comes in and goes out, always let your spouse know how much is in the account at the time. And if you are a carefree spouse, learn not to give a blind eye to how money is spent in the house. Make your own contributions and provide encouragement and criticism where necessary.
Constant Issues with Salary Differences
Money or income is not distributed equally among people, and you and your spouse may have different paychecks at the end of each month.
One of you may earn higher than the other, but this should not give room for control. If you begin to think you should always have your way because your financial contribution is higher, you are inviting trouble into your relationship.
Always keep in mind that you are on the same team and not in competition with each other. All the money that comes into the home belongs to both of you, and none of you should oppress the other due to a higher monthly paycheck. Do not try to relax or be complacent just because your partner earns more than you. Make sure there is equity in the distribution of financial obligation in your marriage.
Committing Financial Unfaithfulness
When people hear the mention of unfaithfulness, their minds quickly go to an affair. You don’t need to have fun with a stranger to become an unfaithful spouse.
If you opened a secret bank account without the knowledge of your spouse, you are going against the agreement you have with your partner. It is the same thing as if you have a credit card that you don’t want your spouse to know about.
Don’t hide anything from your spouse if you don’t want them to find out by accident or from someone else. A little more honesty and transparency will not hurt you if you decide to let them know what you are up to.
If you have done it already, open up to your spouse and calmly take whatever comes next. Make a fresh marriage commitment and let in your spouse on whatever you are doing next time.
Having High or Unreasonable Expectations
It is both rational and human to have expectations while going into something new. Marriage is no different since couples often have high expectations about their marriage. But as you live together, you begin to see that it is not as easy as it seemed. Those big financial and career dreams you had become an ordinary daydream. If not handled properly, it may cause dissatisfaction and, eventually, disaffection between the two of you.
It would be silly to break up just because you could not fulfill your dreams of owning a house or buying fast cars. Life doesn’t always immediately give us what we wish for. Even though you can’t have the kids you want or enjoy those yearly vacations to the Bahamas, you shouldn’t allow it to stand in the way of your marriage.
No marriage manual states that you need to have a million bucks in your account to prove that you are married. Stop all those worries and plan with your spouse on how to make your lives better.
Learn to save at least between 10-20% of your income and consider a 15-year, fixed-rate mortgage. Your initial high expectations will begin to make sense as you work together to achieve the same goal.
Bottom Line
You and your partner must take your financial obligation to your marriage seriously if you want to avoid a marital crisis in the long run. It’s crucial you discuss every financial step you take with your partner to help develop good bonding and trust within yourself and increase your chances of avoiding financial troubles in your marriage.
