Sexual compatibility is one main ingredient need to build a successful relationship. One of the ways to create sexual harmony with your spouse is via communication.
MUST READ: Are You Inadvertently Hurting Him During Sex?
MUST READ: Relax Babe! What to do when he’s threatened by sex toys
Most people find it difficult to inform their spouse of what they need in bed. The result is unsatisfied sexual life. Being unsatisfied sexually is one of the reasons why some people cheat on their partner. Some of the reasons why most people find it difficult to communicate what they need in bed with their partner include;
1. Communication Bridge
When there is a communication breach in a relationship, it affects every aspect of the relationship including the sexual element. When you cannot communicate freely with your partner on other matters, you will find it even more challenging to communicate your sexual needs.
An excellent way to go about this is to start building a communication bridge with your partner in another aspect of your lives. Feel free to talk to your partner about your daily happenings. This will help you develop the rapport to tell him of your needs in bed.
Once you can be very open with your partner, you will not find it difficult to talk about your sexual desires. So instead of trudging to your girlfriends how you wish your sex life were better, why not take the bull by the horn and talk to the guy in charge?
2. Fear of Looking Bad
Some people find it difficult to say what they need in bed so as not to look rotten and spoilt. This is true especially for ladies and persons that are conservative.
This is your sexual satisfaction that we are talking about here. In all honesty, it is better to communicate your expectations in bed to your partner than for you to cheat in the process of looking for sexual satisfaction from a third party.
You don’t have to be scared of what your boyfriend would feel or how he will take your demands. You both should enjoy the moment and have fun if you are not having enough fun, you have the right to speak out and let him know.
3. High Expectations
Some people come into a relationship with high expectations. This is most especially true for new relationships. Having gone through series of relationships, they approach a new relationship with higher expectations of what they want from their partner.
So, they expect their partners to know how to handle manners in bed. Most times these expectations come crashing down as a result of failure to communicate. It is not enough to give body signals. You need to expressly and specifically communication your needs and expectations to your partner. This way, both of you can work together to provide you with sexual satisfaction.
4. Fear of Being a Nag
It is possible that you have communicated your sexual needs to your partner at one point or the other and he or she didn’t make any change.
Thus, in order not to look like a nag, you decide to bottle up your needs in bed to accommodate your partner’s own. Sexual relationship is a give and take thing.
You don’t just stay on the receiving side. If you have at one point mentioned some things you need from your spouse in bed and your partner did nothing about it, it is advisable to gently point this out.
5. Fear of Hurting Their Partner
In order not to hurt their partner’s ego, most people don’t say what they need in bed. There are ways to point out what you want in bed without bruising your partner’s ego. You would hurt your partner when he finds out behind his back that you are not satisfied with your sex life.
There are ways you can talk to your partner without bruising his ego. All you need do is pick the right mood and let him know how you feel about the sex. You can do this playfully and guide him through what you want.
Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both partners. You don’t have to keep calm when you are not getting what you want from it. Talk to your partner and set things right.
