Maybe you two are just friends. Maybe he’s your ex, and you guys still get along. Or maybe you and he do have a little “something,” but you really aren’t in the mood. Whatever the case, if he proposes a “Netflix and relax night,” it better be just that. If you know you’re not interested in anything more than that, movie night might be code for an unwanted come-on.
When you think about it, suggesting a chill movie night without real intention to watch is pretty lame. Really, if he thinks he can suggest one plan when he secretly has another, that’s pretty disrespectful. Does he think you’re naïve? Does he think he is such a stud that he will totally turn you on? Does he even want to hang out without trying to get some?
Especially if he thinks you’re clueless, he’s in for a surprise. Here are five sure-fire ways to make sure “Netflix and relax night” stays just that.
- Eat that junk food! You know you wanted to, anyway. It’s a double-whammy “turn-off” if you’re too busy eating to take a kiss on the lips, and when you’re showing your mad skills in gross popcorn consumption. The way you stuff popped kernels into your mouth probably won’t do it for him.
If you don’t have a lot of food on hand, or just can’t eat more than two boxes of gummies, keep your soda handy. You can use your soda-sipping to the same effect.
- This might sound oxymoronic, but wear the tightest pants you have: not just the ones that stick to your skin, but the denim that is so stiff, with buttons so tight, that no hand could casually slip in. It’s silly, but when a guy thinks he can get it, he is way too prone to stick his hands somewhere without permission. But he has no idea what it takes you to get into those skinnies! The joke will be on him when he tries to stuff his hand in your denim “second skin.”
- Physical distance is one of the most important components to maintaining boundaries on movie night. It might seem obvious, but if you’re on the couch, fold your legs up underneath you pointing toward him. Sit on the other side of the couch, and if he asks why you’re so far away say you like the support of the armrest. You can even say you think the carpet is super soft, and that you want to sit on the floor with your back up against the couch. Don’t go out of the way to be uncomfortable, but maintain that physical distance to send a clear message.
- Allow yourself to get totally and utterly engrossed in whatever you’re watching. If you’re known to react to movies and shows, don’t hesitate to talk to the characters, laugh, or cry like you normally do. Be careful about conversation, though, as any eye-contact with him (especially if you’re sitting too close) could be an invitation for him to stick his tongue in your face.
- If anything starts to look fishy—if he moves too close or makes you uncomfortable—excuse yourself to the bathroom and take your time. Let him cool down, and when you come back be sure to distance yourself the best you can.
You obviously have a reason to want to be there. It might be because you think he is otherwise a cool guy, or because you really wanted to see that movie or binge watch that show. But you knew from the start that you didn’t want to do anything “extra,” and that needs to be respected. He should be able to prove he was worth you wanting to be there in the first place, and respect your boundaries.
Other than your sneaky tactics, there is value in being open an honest with him. The only problem is when you’re in a situation where you “sense” that he’s interested, and that he might try something, but you don’t want to assume and bring it up if it isn’t really on his mind. In these cases, use your body language the best you can, and once he’s made it clear that he was looking for a little “somethin’ somethin’” tell him upfront that you’re not interested.
“Netflix and relax night” can be divine. You can hang out and binge watch a show you both love, or lounge around and take joy in staying in for the night. They are even better when it’s cold out! But don’t give into the cuddles if you aren’t interested in something more. As much to protect yourself as to not hurt his feelings, be sure to employ these sure-fire ways to make sure that movie night stays just that.