How Texting Affects the Quality of Your Relationship

Many recent studies have indicated that texting can have harmful effects on your relationships. In its early phases, a relationship can suffer due to texting because it’s difficult to express tone via text. And if that’s the only way you and your new guy communicate you could be sending each other mixed messages. Some texting is obviously fine but make sure you put in plenty of face time and maybe the occasional phone call.

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Later in a relationship, texting is still harmful. Couples that report that they used texting to have meaningful relationship conversations or apologize experienced a lower quality relationship. The impersonal nature of text messages makes an apology sound insincere and makes the sender seem cowardly for not addressing the issue in person. Dealing with big issues like moving in together or where you’re spending the holidays is not a conversation that should happen in short, choppy texts. A short message is not enough to convey how you really feel about a topic.

Keep in mind that you and your man may view texting differently. Studies indicate that men may use text messages to distance themselves while women use them to stay connected. For a guy, sending a text is much easier and more withdrawn than a phone call or an in-person conversation. But for women, checking in on your partner during the day via text makes you feel closer to them.

Some studies show that couples who text each other more throughout the day are closer. However, frequency of texting is not what makes the relationship stronger. It’s the content of the messages. Messages sent to win an argument or make your partner feel bad do not make you feel more connected.

This is not to say all texting is ruining your relationship and that you should throw your phone out the window forever. Couples who send frequent affectionate texts during the day report more happiness in their relationship. Just imagine you’re sitting at your desk at work and your phone buzzes. It’s a text from your boyfriend saying, “Can’t stop thinking about you, can’t wait to see you later.” Don’t tell me that wouldn’t make you smile!  Texting to coordinate running errands and picking up your kids can also be helpful in relationships. Exchanging messages dividing up the tasks of the day allows couples to recognize all the thing their significant other does for them and how much they appreciate it. Even though texts about running to the grocery store may seem mundane, these texts could be strengthening your relationship.

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