Well, he has finally popped the question. You have waited for months, hoped that he would then the moment comes. Don’t be quick to accept the proposal. Before you start picking out china patterns you had better truly examine your situation. I mean, though many treat marriage as a fad, it is serious. Marriage is something meant to last a lifetime. You need to come back down out of the clouds and ask yourself if he has the qualities it takes to be “the one”.
First is the law of attraction. If you are not sexually attracted to him, and I mean, really attracted then you are already set up for failure. Sexual attraction is so much more important than people choose to believe. While it is not all about sex, it is an important aspect of the relationship. Now this same attraction has to go far beyond the physical realm. Great sex alone is not something to run to the altar over. If he still loves you and thinks you are hot with messy hair and morning breath then he may be a keeper. You may also want to self reflect and answer some questions like, “will you love him when he is tossing his cookies, nose running and feeling as if he will die from the flu”.
Another thing is that he must be financially stable or at least headed to that point. Is he reliable, and what does he do with his money? Is he controlling or free with it? Is he responsible? Does he handle money wisely and have goals? How is he with his job? Is that stable or does he bounce around? Is it a job that offers room to advance? I mean, work is work, but if you want to have nice things and a family a dead end job or instability just won’t do. Another thing is that sometimes things happen with that good job,; you want to know that prince charming is going to be there for you if things fall apart.
How does he handle stress? Is he kind, loving or can he be moody and controlling? Look, if his love is anything less than unconditional it is not even worth it. There is no room for dishonesty or disloyalty whatsoever in a happily ever after. Oh, and if you believe in happily ever after, you’re probably not ready. I’m just throwing that out there. If he can’t make you laugh when you are feeling low honey he is not the one. No matter his schedule you have to be a priority to him. He should be accepting of you, your family and your goofy friends; yes, even the annoying one. Of course he should be accepting of your pets. I mean, what kind of man makes a woman choose between him and her cat?
Have you really thought about his values? Do they mesh well with yours? Are you guys even headed in the same direction? The old saying opposites attract is quite overrated. That is unless you like arguing and disagreeing over almost everything. Will your children look to him as a role model? Does he even want kids? How does her interact with children?These are things you truly need to know before you tie the knot.
Finally does he have motivation and is that backed by confidence? While you don’t want him to be cocky confident, does he seem to know what he wants and be motivated enough to get there?Good self esteem and being secure both in themselves and in you are invaluable traits you want in a husband. You need someone who will hold you when you cry and celebrate with you over a minor or major victory. A man who is not threatened by a strong woman or feels the need to change her is a beautiful thing. Take time and know that this is the man you choose to walk down the aisle with. If you don’t have the answers to these questions maybe you shouldn’t set the date just yet.