When you think of marriage the joy and tribulations of it come to mind, but the reality of your relationship with your in laws comes later in marriage. Some signs leave you wondering whether your in-laws are negatively influencing your life or are they just being too involved. The relationship between in-laws is tricky since we all have different family cultures. Some families will openly accept you, while to some you have come to take their brother, sister, daughter or son, away. Particularly, if your spouse was the one taking care of the parents financially you will have things to contend with. However, how do you identify that your in-laws are jealous of you or they are having different opinions? You can skip one or two get-together occasions, except you will not skip all of them. What are the signs that will tell you that your in-law is being jealous of you?
- Turning your spouse against you
Your in laws will play a horrible game of turning everything against you, especially in front of your spouse. They will follow you around lead you to say something, then run your spouse with, “she said, he said”phrase. Without knowing it, this will bring negativity to your marriage. The confusion is unnecessary, although you need to know how to handle it.
Solution: Strengthen your bond as a couple, be careful how you handle the information you get from your relatives. At the moment you cannot control what the in-laws will say, but you can control the reactions after. Once you receive the information about your spouse, do not keep quiet about it. These are seeds and they will sprout to harmful plants that can cause separation. Once you hear something said, do not contribute because your relative will think they have a right to continue trashing your spouse’s name. Take time together and talk about what you heard. Measure the information about what is true and what is not true before you can accuse your spouse.
- They intentionally hurt you
When they are jealous of you they will be mean to you. They will literally get under your skin and push you to the wall.
Solution: This situation is tough because nobody wants to spend time with people who are insensitive to their feelings intentionally. This is tough because you cannot miss all family gatherings because of your in –laws. First, you could try talking to them and put in plain words how their actions and words hurt. Of course, they will label you insensitive, then whenever you are around them limit your interactions with them.
- They ignore you like you don’t exist
There are awful in-laws, but the nastiest of them treat you like you never exist. They will talk about you like you don’t exist and they completely ignore you. This is so impolite and upsetting and you have to deal with it.
Solution: Your in-law will not ignore you if you are the lone standing in front of them. After explaining yourself and there is no progress then you can explain that you will not be coming around anymore. How do you dedicate your time to be mistreated and totally ignored?
- They will gossip about you
These relatives will go as far as gossip about you to everyone they can see. This is childish and thoughtless they will gossip to the mailman and neighbors giving information about you.
Solution: Let them know that you know, you know they talked about you. Tell them you do not deserve the disrespect they have shown you. Make inquiries if they are upset by something you did and request them next time to talk to you instead of spreading rumors.
- They will not respect your space
They will have a habit to drop by spontaneously. They are always there to complicate your family dinners and the time you want to spend with your spouse. When in your house they will snoop around to find out what new thing you bought and they will buy the same thing. They will be competing with you all the time.
Solution: It is rude to ask them not to come around anymore, though you will have to set rules that you will not entertain an intrusion of your time and space. Discuss with your spouse about how you should handle them. You could ask them to call at any time they want to drop by. You can as well set a date when you will spend time with your relatives and in-laws.
Whatever steps you take in dealing with your jealous in-laws always involve your spouse to be sure you are in this together. Support each other in decision making, with love and compassion. Keep away from talking when angry about issues dealing with your in-laws, they are your spouse’s relatives.
