Relationships are a lot like clothes. They tend to get impacted by trends of the season. You get together during cuffing season, avoided the dreaded “Turkey Dump,” and even managed to survive the torrent of post-New Years’ breakups that litter the internet every year. It seems like you’re in the clear.
Though you might still be together, the truth is that most relationships undergo a lot of stress during the winter months. Your relationship might feel bogged down, or just not what it used to be. Spring is the perfect time to clean up your relationship vibe and work towards a better love life.
Not sure if you need to get into a spring cleaning fit? These hints below can help:
Sign #1: You’re bored AF.
Even the best of couples get bored once in a while, especially when they do the same thing every single day. Getting stuck in a rut is the easiest way to end up losing interest in what your relationship offers you, not to mention run the risk of getting contempt into the mix.
Much like your mattress, you need to freshen up your relationship from time to time. Doing a little spring cleaning to freshen things up often means getting rid of your rut by trying something new together or going out on a trip.
Sign #2: It feels like you need to walk on eggshells around your partner.
This is often a sign that is a precursor to a breakup or an indicator of an abusive relationship, or both. This vibe doesn’t happen in a healthy relationship. If you constantly fear that you’re worried saying or doing something even remotely off, you have to take a pause for a moment.
Do you really want to live with this much anxiety in your life? Are you that scared of confronting your partner? Living like this is not healthy for your emotional wellbeing. It may be time to sit down, face things head-on, and consider a breakup for your own sanity’s sake.
Sign #3: You get the nagging feeling that you can do better.
Oh, we’ve all been there. You know that feeling–the one where you take a look at a new person and wonder what would happen if you dropped your current partner for him. Though you are wondering about the “what if,” you also know you’re pretty happy with your partner. But still…what if, right?
Feeling this way in relationships that are turning sour is healthy, and suggests you might want to clean up your relationship or end it. But when you have a pretty awesome partner, things are a bit different. In these cases, this sign suggests you might need to clean up your attitude and practice some gratitude.
You don’t know if the dashing person you’re observing could just be putting on a face. You don’t know what gross habits they have or if you’re even compatible in the long run. If you’ve got a great thing right now, why wreck it?
Sign #4: Being with your partner has started to feel suffocating.
It’s great to spend time with your lover, but you can always have too much of a good thing. Do you feel like you aren’t given enough space? Does it feel like you constantly have to entertain your partner, or worse, like you are being made responsible for their emotions?
Yeah, it’s time to clear up your schedule.
A little space is a must if you want to keep a healthy balance in your relationship. Ask for some time apart from your love for a while. It will help both of you get a little saner, and it also might help put things in perspective.
Sign #5: You definitely feel like you’re doing the majority of the work in the relationship.
Being the sole worker on a relationship is exhausting, emotionally hurtful, and can even impact your self-esteem. This is a pretty clear indicator that something is clearly wrong. Usually, it means your partner is either taking you for granted, that they want out, or that there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.
With this issue, talking about it can be a good way to clear things up. If your partner resists putting in extra effort, it may be time to pull back or even clear out your relationship status so you can find someone who will be better for you.
Sign #6: The relationship doesn’t follow the 80/20 rule.
In relationships, the 80/20 rule refers to the amount of good times you have versus the amount of bad times you have. In a healthy relationship, the amount of good days you have should be (at the very least) four times as often as bad days.
A good rule of thumb is that you need to reconsider being in any relationship that doesn’t have that ratio–or at the very least, try to improve things until they’re reasonably good.
Sign #7: It’s becoming clear that you have a communication issue.
You tell him to do the dishes. He says “later,” and never does them. You get resentful. You complain, but he says he’ll do the next batch. Rinse, repeat, pun intended. Sounds familiar? Well, it seems what you have here is a failure to communicate–or a failure to listen.
Spring is a great time to start getting your partner to communicate more seriously, or figure out how to explain things to him in a way he’ll understand. If things can’t be fixed, the best way to continue your spring cleaning by tossing the relationship in the bin.
Sign #8: You want to get closer to your partner.
Sometimes, spring cleaning doesn’t necessarily have to mean having a less-than-stellar relationship. Sometimes, it’s just about wanting to get closer or wanting to do something a little bit more special than the norm.
Want to give your love life a little stir? Grab reservations to a nice restaurant, movie, or event. Make things romantic. You’ll be surprised at how much your partner will melt!
