Whether you are the baby mama, or your boyfriend has an ex that he has kids with, there is the potential for a lot of awkwardness between the parties. Here are some items that need to be considered by both women in the situation:
- Respect space. Nobody wants to be that girl who ends up being all up in everyone’s business. Make sure that you aren’t being her by allowing the other woman to do as she needs without interfering inappropriately. If you’re the baby mama, just remember that their relationship is no longer any of your business. And if you are the new girlfriend, just know that she’s probably only around for the sake of the kids, so don’t make things awkward.
- Be cordial. While you will both want to be accommodating on not interfering with each other’s business, there is also no need to be rude or ignore each other. Be polite and civil with one another, because there’s no need for anything other than acting like a lady.
- Don’t ask too many questions. It’s always a good idea to let everyone have their own privacy, and there are just certain things that shouldn’t be approached because they don’t seem appropriate. If you’re the baby mama, don’t ask too much about how they met and the dirty details of the relationship, it isn’t necessary for you to know. If you’re the new girl, don’t ask about their past relationship too much or about what broke them up. If either of you needs to know something that might be awkward, ask the guy since both have an already established relationship with him in some way.
- Don’t cause drama. This should be very obvious, of course, but as women, we all need a little reminder. Drama is unnecessary and drags us all down, so let’s just avoid it at all costs. We won’t always like each other, but let’s be mindful of keeping our opinions to ourselves and remaining as polite as you’d like them to be in return.
- Don’t talk down about other parent in front of kids. While there may be some harsh feelings, the kids don’t need to be in the middle of it. They don’t need to be a part of knowing the issues everyone has with one another, and they certainly don’t need to carry some negative image of their mom or dad in their mind. So avoid talking badly about people in front of them, it will teach them to respect people more and will cause fewer awkward moments.
- Discuss involvement with children. If you’re the baby mama, discuss how much you want the other woman to be around the kids and what makes you uncomfortable. If you’re the new woman, make sure you ask if the mom doesn’t want you alone with the kids or if you’re able to punish the kids if necessary.
At the end of the day, the arrangement should just involve a big discussion over what’s okay and what’s not. And just remember that us girls are supposed to have each other’s backs, so let’s not make this more awkward than it needs to be.
