An abortion does not come easy, pro-choice or not. There is often a plethora of emotions that lead up to and follow behind such a decision, and these feelings have to be dealt with. There is a process of healing that extends well beyond the physical real, and unfortunately it is something that you could feel very alone in if you do not seek out a support group or counseling. Here are some tips that may help you along your journey to healing.
You have the right to your choice, the right to grieve and the right to eventually be ok with those choices that you have made. The thing you don’t have the right to do is suffer in silence and damage your own soul. We need other likeminded people to help us through this emotionally taxing time in our lives. This is not something that will go away by itself and the only thing more dangerous that feeling is not feeling. Denial can lead to an ugly bought with depression from which some never return. Do not suffer along is silence. Seek out a group of others who know what you are dealing with. If you want to remain anonymous then go online for a group. You can also seek out private therapy, but whatever you do don’t stuff or avoid the emotions. You re ok and you are not morally wrong. Own your right and don’t forget why you chose the route that you did. Do not let peoples stereotypes define who you are.
Understand and allow yourself to feel all of the emotions. Stuffing and blocking it out is not going to do anything but turn into depression if it is internalized. Don’t be ashamed to feel relief, followed by sadness or even grief. These may come all at once or in stages. It is a very final decision, and it is a heavy burden to bear. A lot of times all of the conflicting emotions have you confused and wondering if it were right. You have to find a way to cope with and process these emotions in a healthy way and with another human being who understands.
Know that this is a decision that will impact your life. Even if you are sure it is what you want to do there is bound to be something that lingers. Do not go into it thinking that it all ends with the pregnancy. You may think you will be fine and find yourself grieving or emotionally shutting down. People may become judgmental, and you may lose some close relationships through the process. You may sometimes drive by the local school and feel heart heavy. Whatever happens allow yourself to heal, and never stuff emotion. If you have not told anyone, then you definitely need to seek out a support group or counseling. This is a secret to great to bear on your own.
Grieving is a healing process. You are allowed to feel relief and grief at the same time, and no you are not crazy nor are you alone. You are a human being, and you have to understand there is emotions that are attached to this. You may find yourself on a roller coaster emotionally. Crying or sadness spells could come and go, or maybe you feel void of anything. None of these should be dealt with alone. If you do not process these emotions you can get stuck in the “blue” and it could damage you forever. Just because you feel nothing does not mean you are ok. As a matter if fact this is a warning that you need to talk to someone, because even in the event that you know it was your only option you should be feeling something.
Do not suffer alone in a cell of silence. Find a place to share your feelings or lack thereof. Make it a chance to help others as you grow stronger. Admit to yourself and others that you cannot and do not have to suffer in secret, and give yourself the break that you deserve. You are not politics, and you do not have to internalize what people who have no clue what you are experiencing say. Be encouraged and become a beacon of hope for another person going through the same things.
