Competition between sisters in law sometimes is unavoidable, though it can be unhealthy and be capable of causing a wedge in the family. If you want to enjoy your time in a family gathering you better know how to handle your competitive sister in law. Competitive sister in law will always turn each topic to be about her and she will try to outshine you in everything you say or do. This is an unhealthy competition, but when handled well one can survive around them with less stress.
Do not contend with her
When you notice that your sister in law is competing with you, you might be tempted to get into competition with them but this will be the beginning of your troubles. Don’t worry if your sister in law has more money than you and doubles everything you buy just to spite you? Actually, you should realize that people who want to compete might be having low self-esteem and they do it to feel better. So do not get into the trap of wanting to show off who is better than the other.
Ways to avoid competition
- Let your her have the story, allow her to talk about whatever she feels is fine with her.
- Just nod without reactions as she talks nevertheless, do not engage in any way. If will probably talk of the latest achievements or acquirements.
- If she is getting too aggressive and pushing her luck shut her out by changing the topic to a topic you saw in the news.
Draw the family unit line
It is okay if your sister in law wants to be always one step ahead of you, but when it comes to your immediate family members let her know it is out of bounds.
Where do you draw the line when it comes to family?
- Keep the lives of your husband and children personal. If she brings up about her family let her talk, but do not share personal information about accomplishments or difficulties your children may be going through or your husband. Sharing information will just give her more the reason to keep comparing you.
- Your sister in law might only want to compare your husband to her husband avoid this at all cost. Do not discuss about your husband’s achievements or difficulties with her.
- If by any chance she goes ahead to do a one on one comparison of your children and hers call her out and refuse to do it. Be clear that you will not entertain comparison of any kind when it comes to your family.
Be careful in case she is manipulating your mother in law
Come to think of it, in an effort to look good she might taint your name to the mother in law. Whether she is born of the family or she is a daughter in law as you are, you have to discredit every effort they make to ruin your relationship.
How do you pull yourself out of the tainted image from your sister in law?
- Even if it crosses your mind do not bad mouth her to your mother in law. If possible unless it is very necessary for you to talk about your sister in law you can avoid talking about her at all. This will make it clear to your mother in law that something is wrong.
- If you have had a misunderstanding with your sister in law and you notice a change in behavior when your mother in law is interacting with you. Get your detective skills on and you will soon find out that a rumor has been going on started by your sister in law.
- You can approach them and let them know that you know the rumors they have been spreading about you. Ask them in a loving way so that you do not seem to be attacking them though it should be firm and clearly stated. Let them know that if they have a problem with you they should involve you so that you sort out your issues between the two of you.
- Confide in your husband and let them in on what has been happening. However, this should be a last result, if you see that the situation is getting out of hand.
Limit relations with her
You have to attend a family gathering and you cannot avoid meeting your sister in law. During such gatherings just limit the time you spend with her.
- Turn your attention to other relatives whom you might be able to form a positive relationship which will clearly enhance your life.
- Avoid personal contacts with her just keep your relationship casual to avoid any further conflicts.
