Outrightly telling your boyfriend that he needs to lose the extra weight can come out as insensitive and hurt his feelings. Although it is for his wellbeing, going about it this way may not get you the desired result. There are some other ways you can pass on the message without hurting his feelings. You can try the following methods to pass along your message;
1. Know Your Response to the Fat Word
If your boyfriend is overweight, there may be times when he will casually mention ‘oh I am getting too fat.’ How you follow up this statement matters. Do not follow up with the ‘no you are not fat’ reply. This may make him feel comfortable and unwilling to do something about his weight. Don’t also go ‘hell yes, you need to lose the excess weights.’
You will end up hurting him. The best way to go about it is to ask your boyfriend how you can help him. The conversation can turn into productive ways to help him lose weight without hurting his feelings. Be ready to help him make sacrifices.
Help him draw out a plan on how he will achieve his weight goals. Be there for him when he finds it difficult and does not lash out at him when you notice he is not taking the plan serious. Men are like babies; when they are encouraged, they do more. So you have to know how you work with him to achieve his goal.
2. Don’t be Pushy about it
It is possible that your boyfriend may have put in efforts to lose weights without success over time. If this is the case, you need to ensure that you avoid being judgmental of his situation. Also, don’t impose what you think your boyfriend should or should not do.
For instance, using words like; you can’t eat that or why won’t you ever go exercise like other’ will come off judgmental and bossy. These comments come off as pushy and will demotivate your boyfriend from taking steps to lose weight.
Instead, set tracks that will keep him in check when he begins to lose focus. You could help him get into a gym and set him up with a devoted trainer. Get his friends involved too. If he has a fitness freak friend, then you could involve him and let your boyfriend work closely with him.
3. Provide the Context To Change
You can get your boyfriend to take actions to lose weight by taking steps in the right direction. Words are not always enough; instead, you need to back the words up with actions.
For instance, you can clear his apartment of junks and replay with organic fresh fruits and vegetables. Also, you can plan a healthy meal schedule with your boyfriend which enable him to eat healthy meals.
You can also help him with new recipes and show him how to make healthy dishes. Let him understand the importance of his diet to losing weight. This will help him adjust the way he eats.
4. Discourage Negative Self-Talks
One of the ways you can help your boyfriend to lose weight without hurting his feelings is to discourage negative self-talk.
There will be times when he may get depressed and say hurtful things to himself about how he looks. When that happens, make him realize that negative self-talk will not help the situation. Instead, he should focus on positive self-talk.
Instead of saying words like ‘I am obese and ugly,’ encourage him to say words like ‘I am talking small steps each day in the right direction.’ Starting off a weight-loss plan is difficult especially at the initial stage. So your boyfriend needs all the help he can get at that stage. You have to be there for him.
5. Celebrate His Progress
One way to help your boyfriend to lose weight without hurting his feelings is to encourage him for every progress he makes. Losing weight is a long, laborious process that requires self-discipline. For each step, he takes in the right direction, celebrates him. Let him know that he is a work in progress. Celebrate his new found effort to enroll in a gym.
