I’m sure you want to know why he watches porn but I’m sure he also wants to know why it freaks you out. Here’s a little secret, you cannot get him to stop watching porn. Women get a tension release when they vent, men get one after they achieve an orgasm.
Sex comes in two varieties, sex with love and sex for sex’s sake. Some men feel guilt for having sex for sex’s sake with the woman they care for, so they turn to pornography for that kind of a release instead of using their significant other. It’s a fairly common practice and is not always unhealthy, although there are lines.
Pornography and masturbation, in moderation like everything, has probably been a saviour to most relationships than its destroyer. A fact of modern society, the trick is not letting it become a substitution for real sex.
Men have different forms of stress than women, so showing him that you understand his pressures and responsibilities can make him feel less alone and less stressed. As a result, him feeling less stressed means he may not need to resort to pornography as much.
It’s also your responsibility as a partner to take him aside once in a while and reassure him, “No one, including myself, knows how the pressure from your responsibilities makes you feel. I’m sorry it’s so tough.”
From there, you will have created an open dialogue about what is worrying him and you’ll be able to help him find more positive ways of dealing with the pressures in his life.
The biggest mistake you could make is to interpret his watching of porn as a sign that he isn’t interested in you on some level. It will drive you to behaviours you know are a problem and by that point you may be unwilling to stop, which will only create more serious issues.
Whether you want to hear it or not, it’s normal for men to look at porn. If you’re ever feeling adventurous, you should watch some together – you may like what ends up happening!
