Oh, this is the worst news? Thinking that you can be happy in a new relationship with your boyfriend, you find out that that there was history with him and your best friend? Is it okay to feel this way? Or should I break up with him? Before you go down that route, take a look at the advice in this article.
Break up or Stay in the Relationship?
The final resolution depends on various factors. In the long run, it is a better idea to stay in the relationship instead of breaking things off right then and there.
I mean, think about it. You’re going to break up with this guy all because he was with your best friend? Aside from discussing it with your boyfriend, what are you going to say to your friend? Are you still friends with her?
Factors to Think Over
- How serious was it?
- Do they hang out a lot?
- How prolonged has it been since the relationship ended?
- Are they still in contact with one another?
Should I Be Frustrated That She Didn’t Tell me Earlier?
Yes, it is okay to be frustrated. But remember, words exist. You cannot walk off in a huff without talking it out with your best friend. Anger is not good for anybody. Look at it this way, maybe she didn’t tell you because she had no idea who you were going out with.
Don’t get too upset over the situation. Take a deep breath, assess the situation, and ask questions about the relationship. Give your friend a chance to explain their side. This is a good way to learn about the guy and why the breakup happened. Be happy that your friend was in a relationship.
Can You Be Friends With Someone Who Slept With Your Boyfriend?
Yes, you still be friends with someone who slept with your boyfriend. However, it all depends on when they slept with them. Was it a romantic venue that happened before you started going out or during?
Decisions are tough. Take time to think it over. If this is a situation that you need to walk away from entirely, then it’s okay to do that. You are your priority.
Dating Someone Your Friend Slept With
For those who are dating someone whom their friend slept with, here are a few tips that you need to be aware of.
- Respect Boundaries, Avoid Assumptions
One of the worst things that anybody can do is make an assumption that is not true. These assumptions wreck friendship and make you paranoid. Respect the boundaries of both your boyfriend and your friend.
Overall, allow both sides to decide how many contacts they want to have. Don’t push them to associate if they’re not interested. You can love both your friend and boyfriend at the same time. It is no contest. Treat each other as equal partners and spend time with one another.
- Never Spread Rumors, and Avoid Trash Talk
It’s not a good idea to spread stories that are not true. When a friend asks you for your side of the story, specifically about the breakup, it’s not a time to make up facts that are not true. No matter the relationship – boyfriend or friend – being open about certain topics is essential. Respect secrets.
And it is not okay to trash talk any side of the relationship. Go to your friend or your boyfriend with any needed advice. But the one thing that both sides should avoid is saying nasty things about one another. Yes, it is tempting, but you need to bite your tongue. Either that or find someone else (like a therapist to vent to).
To maintain healthy relationships, it’s crucial that you never take sides in the breakup or casting either one as the bad guy. The past is the past after all.
- Do not Make Comparisons
We are all different. Being the same is boring. If you are going to compare your current relationship to the one that you heard was between him and your best friend, you are making a big mistake. It’s not okay to ask if you are a better girlfriend. Depending on if he answers, it is going to make everyone feel uncomfortable.
Basing your self-esteem on where you stand is not healthy. Don’t make comparisons. If anyone in the relationship brings it up, you have to tell him you’re not interested in hearing it. Relationships are not a competition. They are to explore love.
- Prying at the Relationship is Not Okay
You should face the fact that your boyfriend and best friend were together. Once. The relationship is over. It’s tempting to ask either party about details of the relationship. What happened in the relationship stays between them. Now you are in a relationship with him where everything is going to be different.
- Know Who Not to Date
Here’s where learning that your friend was previously in a relationship with your boyfriend is crucial. If they warn you that they were in an abusive relationship with a guy, do not ignore them. It could be a sign that they don’t want you with them because they’re jealous, but honestly, they’re just looking out for you like a friend should.
- Avoid Paranoia
It’s okay to feel weird that your best friend and boyfriend were once romantically involved. Paranoia is not good. It’s not okay to keep your friend and boyfriend from interacting. Maybe their relationship has ended and now they are trying to be friends.
Trust is the #1 element in any relationship. Trust your boyfriend and trust your friend. Never use jealousy or insecurity over past relationships to justify unreasonable or controlling behavior on your part. Don’t create nonexistent problems.
FAQ
Can You Forgive a Friend Who Slept with your Boyfriend?
Just like how we mentioned in the beginning, it is important to forgive your friend. Always start with forgiveness. You cannot stay mad at them forever. It’s okay to take some time to think about it. After that, you need to talk. Avoiding the conversation is not good for either relationship.
It will take some time to trust your friend again. Of course, it will change things, but it should not change your friendship. The answer is determined by your morals. As tough as relationships are, people’s truths are on a wide spectrum of feelings.
Ask yourself questions about relationships. Forgiveness is something you do more for yourself. If you feel betrayed, embrace an entirely different relationship and friendship. It’s never a good call to wait and see if you deserve this.
Do Guys Fall in Love with Friends With Benefits?
The dating world is extremely difficult am I right? You never know what a guy’s game is. Guys do fall in love with and get attached to friends with benefits. As we said, it’s important to focus on your relationship rather than the previous relationship your friend had with him. But, you need to pay attention to these signs.
- Texting/Phoning Each Other
Have you noticed how often they text each other or talk on the phone? This is no longer a friend with benefits relationship, some feelings are floating around.
- You’re Not Having Sex
If he does not offer to have sex with you then something is wrong. If sex is not the first thing on his mind then you should watch the way he interacts with your friend.
- Does He Care About Your Opinions?
In a relationship, each member of the couple needs to listen to you. And they’re all about being open with your emotions. If he is not listening to you and only wants to hear your friend’s opinion, he is falling for your friend with benefits.
- Not Supportive
If he is not supportive of your opinions or he is showing up to your friend’s recitals instead of yours, something is definitely going on.
- He’s Just Not Interested
It is time to investigate if he is not interested in being around you. In a relationship, a couple needs to spend time together. Don’t continue the relationship if your boyfriend has a thing for your friend.
What Does it Mean When You Dream about your Boyfriend Cheating with your Best Friend?
Dreams are strange, aren’t they? Most dreams have several different meanings behind them. I just had a dream that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. What does that mean? Should I be concerned?
These types of dreams mean that you are insecure about your relationship. You don’t feel like you are good enough. It also means that your think that your best friend is better than you. As we said, relationships are not the easiest.
Dreams, where your boyfriend is cheating on your best friend, are best interpreted as insecurities. Be open with both your boyfriend and your best friend about your relationship. Torturing yourself is not an option.
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