This is a dilemma. Before going into the nitty-gritty of how to handle the situation, let’s explain the situation to ensure it is understandable. You have a crush on or you like a guy, and the guy, in turn, likes you.
Then your best friend tells you that he loves the guy, but in reality, the guy does not like her. You want to continue seeing your guy since both of you are on the same page that you love each other, but on the other hand, you don’t want to upset your friend or lose the friendship with your friend.
You are already adding fuel to your date with the guy by sending him mails and text messages which he in turn returns. There is little or no doubt what is going to happen if you don’t handle the situation well. What is going to happen is that you will lose a friendship you’ve spent time building. You have to ask yourself whether that is what you want.
Let me use myself as an example; I have a best friend whom I will prefer to call Jaye for this post. We have been friends for the last five years. We have been through a lot for this extended period and have got each other’s back through thick and thin.
Then early last year, she comes telling me that she is having this massive crush on a guy. On showing me the said guy’s picture, I discovered that it is the same guy I met early last month and he said he likes me and wants to date me. As you guessed, it was a severe dilemma for me.
Thankfully, I handled the situation better, and my friendship with Jaye has been stronger than ever. Funny enough, things didn’t work out with the said guy and me. If I acted stupidly, I would have lost both the friendship with best friend and also the opportunity to date the guy.
Back to you, you need to decide which one is important to you. Dating this guy in question/ going on multiple dates to see if both of you are compatible to date or losing your friendship with a best friend who has been loyal to you and stood by you when you went through hard times.
It is possible to have both options, but your friend has to be mature and forgiving. Also, your friend’s self-esteem matters too. Finding out that the guy she likes is already dating her friend can crush her egos, so she needs to have the real high self-esteem to pick up and move on in life and not let the situation affect the friendship.
Dating a guy you and friend both have feelings for can be tricky. First, you won’t feel secure when your friend is alone with your guy. You would always be scared of losing your man to your friend, and this is not a wise way to start off a relationship. If you are not going to be comfortable with your guy for any reason, save yourself the stress of starting off something you would regret at the end.
Talk to the guy about how your friend feels about him and see how he would react to the situation. Find out the kind of guy you are about to date, if you think he would take advantage of your friend’s feelings and hurt the both of you, please do not continue with the relationship.
Also, make sure your friend knows how you feel about your man. Most girls do not tell their friends the truth about how they think about a guy, and when you friend makes a move out of ignorance, you cannot blame her can you?
You have two options here; the first is to talk things over with your friend and let he understand that it is okay to let go for the sake of your friendship. If she has high self-esteem as mentioned earlier, she will walk out and opt for other guys. The second option is to end the association with the said guy.
