I want to assure you that 80% of situations like this occur frequently so it is nothing to worry about. So you and your friend may have actually detected that you both like the same guy and you are yet to come to terms with the fact that you and your friend like the same cutie down the hall only for you to know that the guy is so into you like he totally likes you and not her. and if your friend knows, she might be in disarray or you are probably scared of what she could do. Well first off I want you to relax because this is not up to her. it is up to you and him because she is seen as a third party in all of this. So it depends on you and the guy if you want to continue with your relationship or leave it hanging so that both you and your friend doesn’t have the guy at the end or you force him to pick her which would be totally disastrous.
First off, I would like you to know that a real friend doesn’t use the phrase, ‘I liked him first’ if she sees that the guy likes you and not her, she would leave and would want to make you happy by leaving you both to each other. But a friend who keeps on threatening you with the ‘I liked him first or why does it have to be you’ is not your friend and trust me, she wouldn’t remain your friend in a long time and it would be sad if you miss out on having a relationship with the guy because it may turn out beautiful and lovely at the end.
Also if you left the guy for her and you decide to act like the good friend that you are, note one thing; you will never be happy seeing them together and the guy would also never be happy with her. in fact he may cheat on her because he couldn’t have you and he is with someone he doesn’t like. And seeing him with her may hurt so much that you may result to self-violence which is rather much dangerous. So to avoid that, I will suggest this;
- Have a long chat with her. you can decide to have this talk in your apartment, your favourite spot, the park or wherever there is peace and quietness for you both to think about the current situation at hand. So talk to her, tell her how you feel about the guy and how he feels about you. Tell her if you really like the guy or if it’s just a crush/infatuation that would simply fade off after sometime. Let her see your reasons for wanting to be with him and let her know how you also feel if he dates someone else asides from you.
- Talk to the guy in question. have a long chat with the guy. Tell him how you feel about him and let him also tell you how he feels about you and if he simply wants a fling or something short with you or he is into you for a long term. Tell him about your friend and be polite about it because you wouldn’t want to jeopardize your friendship over a guy that may not last with you. Make sure you are really sure he likes you.
- Let him take a step. Allow him to speak by himself if he likes you or not. Because your friend may feel like you’re the one putting ideas in his head and feeding him with lies about her so just let him take the step by coming to ask you out, or speak to you even while your friend is there so she would be clear that he likes you and not her then she would get over it fast.
- Also, ensure you don’t rub your relationship in her face. it wouldn’t be great if you talk about the guy all the time and you know your friend likes him. She may think that you are flaunting your relationship before her and this might lead to your separation and might equally create hatred.
Okay so what do you do when your friend refuses to acknowledge the fact that he likes you? It is totally normal for her to feel pathetic about it but it is required of her to get over it but if she doesn’t, and she still wants a fight, don’t give her one. It is completely unnecessary to engage in such brawls with her. so I would advise that you cut off from such friendship because it might become injurious and toxic to you and your new relationship and you wouldn’t want that. But above all, stay straight forward and direct with her and be polite about issues like this with her.
