Living with your best female friend can really be great, but not without its up and downs. It can be a great idea at first, especially if you two had known each other back in college. Since you two had known each other that long, you may think taking her in as a tenant can be a pretty amazing idea to further strengthen the friendship. But along the line, it may not work as you expected because of certain factors and differences that you weren’t prepared for.
You may have lived with your BFF as a roommate in college, but it’s surely not the same thing as taking her in as your tenant in your own apartment. It’s a different ball game entirely. There are moments where conflicts and issues will arise and as you two keep living together, it becomes more tense and difficult to continue. Even if you two were able to resolve conflicts swiftly as friends, as tenants, it may be different. Just know that leasing that small space of yours to your BFF can be more complicated than you think. It comes with its own things that you should be better prepared to face. Otherwise, it will take you by the storm and you may regret making such a decision in the first place.
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So before you make that decision, ask yourself these questions, “Will I be sharing my food in my apartment?” “Will I feel okay if she lets her boyfriend and other friends into the house without my permission?” “How do I split up living expenses?” These among others are one in a million questions that you must answer before you say, “yes, you can come live with me bestie”.
If you plan on taking her in, you should be aware of the following factors.
There will be some financial constraints
You might know how to manage doing things with a tight budget, but when you are living with your BFF, things can change pretty fast and that includes making some adjustments to your budgeting. It’s expected, but you may not have factored this in when you made a decision for her to move in with you.
Things can be much worse if your BFF is unemployed. That means that you will be carrying most of the financial responsibilities, which can be a colossal burden. In order for this to work, both parties must contribute meaningfully to living expenses and be financially responsible. If you can’t come into a sort of financial agreement, there will be no need living together. That means getting your BFF kicked out.
Living with your BFF will distract you
If you are work from home kind of person, it’s no good living with your BFF. That’s because you will be distracted by her storytelling, gists, trending news, etc. Sometimes, you may have given her the signs to stop, but she will refuse because she thinks you need to hear it. She finds it difficult to differentiate between office hours and home hours and this will hinder you from getting your work done quickly.
Living with your BFF will remind you of the good old days
You know the parties, the hangovers, and all the fun and memories associated with college, your BFF will remind you of all that and you will constantly think of reliving in those times. This can affect you in two ways – it will remind you of your younger self and the need to be happy. The second is it will hinder you from maturing and your BFF will always keep reminding you of that as far as she is living with you.
Living with your BFF will hinder you from becoming mature
Your BFF can prevent you from facing the fears and difficulties of life. If your BFF is rich, she can hinder you from doing things supposed of an adult like paying your bills, taking care of some home chores, etc. She will virtually take care of your financial responsibilities and this will keep you from becoming the adult that you are.
You will see her in another light
There is every chance that your BFF is more socializing than you and does a couple of other things more than you do. Also, it’s possible that you two have different expectations as regards to some things. It’s important that you two understand each other’s expectations to avoid disagreements and conflicts before you let her move-in with you.
You two should be able to sit down and communicate how the chores should be handled. Understand each other schedules and determine who does the cooking and who goes to the market to purchases. If you come to terms with her on these, you are sure going to live with her for a very long time.
Conflicts will always arise
Let’s face the reality. Being best friends doesn’t mean you two will live in harmony and avoid a face-off. As far as you are seeing each other everyday, you will have the opportunity of knowing some of her quirks. There is a chance that you can no longer tolerate some of her bad habits. Seeing her do it often will piss you off, which may lead to an argument. Once you are sharing that space with her, you will be seeing your BFF in another light and soon, you will get tired of her and may ask her out of your apartment.
Despite the shortcomings, you can still live with your BFF and make it work. First of all, don’t have high expectations. Don’t expect your BFF to be the same person you once knew. Understand that she will have some habits and quirks and have a couple of other developments that you never knew about before. Learn to accept them, no matter how ugly they may look like. If making some adjustments is possible, that’s great.
Secondly, communication is key. In fact, over communicate with your BFF and keep yourself open to discovery. If you notice any abnormal behaviour like leaving the dishes dirty, as an adult that you are, sit her down and share your observations. After all, that’s what best friends are for. Once you are open in communication with her, you will learn to understand and accept her habits and differences and she will in turn, learn to accept yours. Which means less hate, less conflicts, and more happy living will be the eventual outcome.
