You two are cuffed and monogamous. He’s in a relationship with you, and he’s made it clear that he wants to be with you alone. The problem is, he’s got tons of female friends. Obviously, it’s possible for men and women to be friends without attraction being there, but it’s a lie to say that having a man surrounded by women is easy.
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It’s hard to be in this situation, no lie. When you’re dealing with friends of the opposite sex, it’s easy to have boundaries crossed. As the girlfriend, it’s important to have boundaries when it comes to female friends. The hard part is figuring out where those boundaries are. So, where does the line really belong?
The best way to figure out boundaries is to figure out what your boyfriend should be allowed to do. If you ask us, these eight things below are a good starting point
By all means, allow him to have female friends.
It’s not healthy to isolate your boyfriend, and yes, that includes female friends. Men who are parted from their female friends are going to end up resenting their partners for it. Having female friends gives guys a better perspective on what girls want and also helps keep their support network alive.
By giving him the opportunity to have female friends, you’re showing him that you trust him. A relationship needs trust to survive, so if you can’t trust him to handle girls, you shouldn’t be with him.
Let him hang out with them while you’re present.
There’s a huge difference between letting your boyfriend hang out with female friends alone, and letting him hang out with you as a group. Hanging out one-on-one is an easy way for men to cheat. Hanging out with you all as a group offers up great bonding time.
By being present, you show that you still trust him but that you want to be a part of the group. That’s a good look.
Let him talk to them online and via phone.
This may be a little more risky in the eyes of some, but the truth is that it’s also a healthy behavior. Girls aren’t the only ones who need to be able to text friends updates and gossip once in a while. Guys need that, too!
A little chatting generally won’t hurt your relationship unless his chats start overtaking your relationship. You never know–you might find out some juicy details about his friends from him by giving him this freedom.
Be cool with him encouraging his female friends.
Let’s say that he has a female friend who just got dumped. From the sounds of it, he was a total jerk to her. Right now, she’s vulnerable and probably has a dented self-esteem. She needs to hear that she’s a catch, and she needs to hear that she’ll be alright.
As long as it’s done in moderation, that kind of encouragement isn’t detrimental to your relationship. If anything, it’s just Girl Code. You don’t kick a girl when she’s down; you uplift her. If you and your partner can help her get back on her feet, by all means, do it.
Give him the freedom to tell other guys to back off of her.
Creeps in the dating scene are no joke. In fact, they are a threat to women everywhere–and good guyfriends know that. We can’t even begin to count the number of times having a burly guy saved a girl from being harrassed or assaulted by a creep.
A good friend will always help a friend who’s in need of extra protection. Giving men the right to stand up for their friends is a must, even if it means having your boyfriend tell someone else to back away from his female friend.
Once again, giving your boyfriend this liberty isn’t just about showing trust. It’s about doing the right thing and respecting the unspoken agreement between women. You don’t leave another girl in danger like that.
By all means, let him help with her career.
Careers are another matter where things get very serious. A single positive step can make the difference between bankruptcy and a comfortable life later on. Why deprive someone of that help, knowing that it was given in good faith?
Friendships are all about lifting each other up and helping one another. If your partner is able to help a friend improve their career, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t let him do that. It’s a professional matter, not one involving sex. Let it be.
Even if it’s hard, try to let him be okay with dancing with them.
We get it. Dancing is usually a couples’ thing. But, if the girl in question is solo or if he’s in a group, there’s no harm in having one or two dances with them. You would balk at the idea of being banned from dancing with your buds, so why is it okay to ban him from dancing with his?
At times, this can be a matter of both personal safety or a matter of helping her get her self-esteem together. Don’t be the jealous girlfriend here. It won’t look good.
If it’s necessary, let him drive her home.
This is a tough one for a lot of girls. No one wants to deal with the thought of their boyfriend alone in a car, with a potentially drugged/drunk/horny girl. However, it’s important to realize that this is a matter of doing the right thing.
Girls without a ride home are vulnerable girls. They are also girls who could be in serious danger with the wrong Lyft driver. Letting your partner drive a girl home is a must, if only for her safety.
Let him help her move.
Anyone who’s ever moved homes can tell you that moving isn’t an easy ordeal. There’s a lot of packing, lifting, and hauling to be done. Moving companies are expensive and often cost as much as a month’s rent or more.
Not many people can afford movers. Not many people have a social network that would allow them to have exclusively single friends to help them move. Throw her a bone here. If anything, help him help her out. You could make a day of it.
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