What does it feel like to have a roommate while married? The initial decision to live with a friend wasn’t planned. When staying in the east, a mutual friend of ours got a job offer from an organization based in California. A friend of his (another friend) was left with the task of finding a one-bedroom flat on short notice in an expensive city. We had an additional room at our home, and we thought that the extra money we will get from the rent couldn’t hurt. Thus we agreed to allow our friend stay over until he can find his place.
I was hesitant initially as a result of the experience I had with roommates when I was in college. It was a suit that had 11 females. This experience made me unease to share spare with someone other than my spouse. Oh, come to think of it, with a roommate around, you don’t have the freedom to walk around naked in your apartment.
But then, to my surprise, the arrangement was made.
This should not have been a surprise to me at all. Since marriage had started to feel annoying to me recently. Don’t get me wrong. Icherish is living with my husband, and I am thus grateful for the life we’ve been building along. However, till we got married, we were of the belief that a partner should not expect you to be everything at all times. Marriage got us staying in a state with the absence of any extended community or close friends, and it was beginning to create this void in our lives.
And as unconventional as it may seem, our friend surprisingly filled that void.
So once we were offered the chance to move to CA, a location where we will be around our common network of friend and family, I was scared and concerned that we would go back to the lonely living arrangement that has come to be a partner in our lives. Thus I got in contact with a close friend named Joe, who was staying at his mother’s house at the time, and asked if he’d stay with us. Since he had no job offer in the West, we knew that he relocating will not be suitable for him. However, we also knew that needed a change in environment as much as we needed him to transfer with us. Thus, we told him that he should raise enough money to pay for gas for the trip, that we will handle the other cost for the trip.
Talking about the cost and logistics involved in getting our friend move with us to California wouldn’t paint the whole picture. But you should know how my partner had to move away before my job in our current city ended. And how our friend helped me pack up and took the ride with me across the country.
Oh, I forgot to talk about helping resolve marital issues when we both have our troubles. We don’t share our problems, but my friend cannot help but notice when things are not right. She knows how to talk to us about the struggles of being married tactfully and why we need to stick together even in our differences. Having someone who tries to settle issues in your marriage is a good plus. For the time our roommate was around, we try as much as possible not to get into fights. Even when we do, it doesn’t last as we sort things out before it gets out of hand.
I am delighted that I decided to allow us to have a roommate while being married. Our friend’s presence has kept us on our best behavior.
