Whether it’s good or bad everyone has a past. If you are thinking about becoming a private investigator to find out what your partner was up to before you get together, I wouldn’t advise it. You might end up finding out some information that you don’t want to know. What a person did before they met you should have no affect on your relationship. However, the truth of the matter is that if your partner was a complete douche bag before they met you, unless they have completely changed their life, there is a high chance that they might still be that way and just covering it up. Anyway, there are definitely some things you need to know and some things you don’t.
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Things You Need to Know
Has he Ever Hit a Woman? Now this is really important, if you’ve bagged yourself a woman beater you might want to make a swift exit. Unless he’s been arrested for domestic violence or you have mutual friends this isn’t information you are going to find out easily because he probably isn’t going to tell you. On the other hand, if he does tell you he used to abuse women but now he’s been reformed because he’s had therapy you can either trust him and take his word or you can cut your losses and hit the road.
If he Has Any Children he’s Not Looking After
Unfortunately, there are some really sneaky men out there who have a child or more than one child that they aren’t looking after. There is not excuse for abandoning your child, quite frankly if he can walk out on his own child, walking out on you will be even easier.
Unprotected Sex
Sexually transmitted diseases are real and they are spreading like wildfire. The only way you can protect yourself from them is through abstinence or contraception. Congratulations if you have bagged yourself a virgin but the truth of the matter is that you probably haven’t. Virgins are a rare commodity in this day and age. If your partner has got a history of having unprotected sex, you need to know about it because you are then putting yourself at risk.
Same Sex Tendencies
It’s your right to know whether or not your partner swings both ways. Your boyfriend will probably find the prospect of a threesome with another woman hot. However, your girlfriend on the other hand will probably be horrified at the thought of watching you bent over with another man!
Things You Don’t Need to Know
How Great Your Ex Was
“My last boyfriend was just so amazing; I don’t understand why he dumped me! Our sex life was awesome; there were some days we could do it 10 times in one night.” Unless you want to get dumped, this is not the kind of information that you need to divulge. He will take it in one of three ways:
- You are trying to make him jealous.
- You don’t think he’s good enough in bed.
- You really wish you were back with your ex.
How Many People You Have Slept With
Unless you really don’t care which is often not the case, the majority of couples don’t really want to know the truth when it comes to the amount of people their partner has slept with. Women who have lived the promiscuous lifestyle are better off keeping that information undercover. Unfortunately, no matter how much of an effect feminism has had on society, one thing still hasn’t changed. Men don’t want to be with a woman who has been around the block. Ladies are a bit more acceptable when it comes to numbers because they almost expect it from men.
References to Size
Men you don’t need to know the size of the biggest penis she’s ever had and women neither do you need to know the breast size of his former lover. If either of you are not very well endowed, knowing this information can cause more harm than good.
Your Cheating History
People cheat for different reasons but mainly because they are not satisfied in the relationship they are in. Telling your partner that you have cheated on a previous lover is only going to trigger insecurities that you don’t want to have to deal with. Even if they brush it off when you mention it, they won’t forget and it will set alarm bells ringing that you can’t be trusted. Your partner is always going to wonder if you will do the same thing to them. These insecurities can manifest in a number of different ways such as possessiveness and paranoia.
Final Thought
The bottom line is you need to be smart about what you reveal to your lover. Think before you speak and if what you have to say isn’t going to benefit your relationship it would be in your best interests to keep lock lipped about it.
