You’ve had a nice morning romp before you had to leave for work. After a nice shower and a cup of coffee together, you give your hunk a kiss and go off on your merry way. About five minutes into the drive, you realize you’ve forgotten your wallet. A quick U-turn around and your back at his place. Thankfully you have your own key and invite yourself back in. Then you hear it. The moaning of another woman and your beau heavily breathing. You tiptoe in and find him with his pants down to his ankles masturbating to the high-def porn on his laptop.
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Now there are many ways women can react to a scene such as this. Some may laugh at the sight. Others can be distraught or hurt by it. Is it really such a big deal? We all know men love sex and porn isn’t necessarily a bad thing unless one is addicted to it. Usually there isn’t some deep dark seeded issue that accompanies his masturbation. He just might be horny.
Here are some ways to handling catching your man masturbating to porn:
- Ask to join in. It can excite him even more if you ask him to join in on the fun. It shows you’re confident in yourself and sexual prowess to not be worried that he’s looking at porn. While porn has a bad stigma and has ruined some women’s self-esteem, it doesn’t have to be viewed as a negative thing. Sometimes porn is an alternative and exciting way to spice things up in the sex department. You can always tell him how much it turned you on catching him in the act and that you had to join in with him.
- Laugh it off. I don’t mean laugh in his face when you catch him. If you aren’t in the mood to join in just politely excuse yourself and let him get his bearings together. Truth be told, he may be mortified you caught him so give the poor guy some time. When you approach the topic, don’t be judging or accusatory be light-hearted and it can be an incident you both can laugh about.
- Don’t get angry. The last thing you want is to act like a raging jealous woman. Now, of course this depends on the situation. If this is a first time thing, you probably weren’t available and your beau was terribly horny. Now if it’s something that has happened on multiple occasions or your sex life has become non-existent, then you may have an issue here. Instead of being angry with him, talk to him about your concerns and where his porn hobby is leading him. Communication is key in this situation.
- Tell him if it bothered you. If you are already wary of porn and found that it really upset you he didn’t come to you first and resorted to porn to get some sexual gratification, talk to him about it. Tell him why it hurt you so much and ask him to see if from your perspective. Again don’t chastise him for watching porn as the issue may be much deeper than that.
- Understand that he has no expectation of you to be like a porn star. Men do not expect their girlfriend or wife to act like a porn star in bed. They also do not fantasize about them either. Men usually use porn as visual stimulation to get excited and not as an escape from their current sex life (especially if they have a great one!). So don’t worry about having to exceed his porn expectations.
