Why You Should Break Up With Your High Heels Before You Break Your Ankles

Dear High Heels,

Let’s get real. Like really real. You know it’s time to end this abusive relationship and much as I do. You hurt me over and over again and all I do is show you love. This cannot continue. I need a shoe that’s more supportive, one that doesn’t make me fall but raises me up (metaphorically, of course).

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I’m sorry I ever laid eyes on you that day at the boutique. Your shiny material caught the display light, blinding me. You were just my size and so stylish. It was love as I slipped my foot onto your brand new sole. I had to have you.

I know we look hot at the club together but by the end of the night, I’m carrying you home in my arms, barefoot and blistered. You embarrass me at work when I stumble in the hallway or trip in front of a client.

You’ve left scars on my feet and on my heart and it’s time I’ve stood up for myself. Let’s not even mention that one time. You know, that time we both choose to forget? The time I wore you on that Tinder date with that guy… the really cute one with the scruffy beard and the finance job. I rolled my ankle on the way to the restaurant and limped through the streets so slowly that I was 25 minutes late! He was not amused and needless to say he did not ask me out on a second date. Don’t you want me to be happy?

I need to break up with you before you break my ankle! And don’t think I haven’t warned all my friends about you. You’re dangerous- a devil with a stiletto heel, a monster with a peep-toe. I’ll never get back the time or money I wasted on you- I wish I saved the receipt.

I’m tired you trying to shape my foot into what you want it to be. My toes are not that pointy and my foot does not arch like that. Can’t you just accept me for who I am?

I’ve found a new pair of shoes. One that treats me right! They’re a perfect fit and we’re very happy together. I can wear them all night when I go out dancing and not take them off halfway through the night. I can wear them to work and be confident that I won’t fall on my face. They empower me.

Good luck with your future relationships though. I’m sure you can find some college freshman to prey on or some Bat Mitzvah girl to victimize but you do not own me anymore.


Girls everywhere