Loving him isn’t the only thing that can sustain a relationship. When there is that gap that isn’t supposed to be there, things can turn real fast. Relationships are subject to change. Pains, obstacles, challenges are inevitable in relationships, and in the long run, you begin to question yourself about whether you are committed to the relationship or not. You are wondering whether your problems will ever go away. If they do fade away, that’s great, but if they don’t, that’s bad. That brings us to the topic of discussion, what do you do when you see you have outgrown your love, despite loving him?
MUST READ: What to do when you and your man are drifting apart
MUST READ: Pay the Cost to Be the Boss: Does a Woman’s Success Negatively Affect a Man’s Self-Esteem?
Here is a fact. Many breakups do happen as a result of one person outgrowing the other in almost everything. The person is outgrowing his/her feelings, and outgrowing the relationship. And then, the other is unwilling to grow. When your partner is longer on the same page with you on a maturity level, that’s a sign to leave. If married, file for a divorce, even if you love him. It can be painful, but that might be the only solution.
But here is the thing. You might actually be feeling the distance between you and your partner and still feel that you can remedy whatever that’s acting as a barrier. If you see yourself at this crossroad, check out the signs below that you have outgrown him.
There is lack of interest in the activities you once enjoyed with him.
This is the most common sign of a failing relationship. Once you and your partner are no longer interested in the hobbies and activities that once bonded you two, that’s a sign that you have outgrown him.
At the same time, if your partner is still stuck and unable to explore other area of interests, it’s best to walk away. If he does resonates with you on your new area of interests, that’s fine. But if not, find someone else who shares the same interests.
Endless confrontations
It’s normal to have one or two arguments in a relationship, but when it becomes constant or more of an everyday thing, that is where it’s bad. If these fights or confrontations usually end up with no solutions, it symbolizes a failing relationship.
You may feel responsible. You may accuse your partner of being responsible. Either way, if it’s unresolved, initiating a breakup will be your next option, instead of allowing the fights to jeopardize your self-esteem further.
You feel ashamed of your partner
The very things that used to keep you in awe of your partner will be the same things that will make you feel embarrassed, angry, and ready to pick up a fight with your partner, even in public. If these things embarrasses you, then it’s a sign that you have outgrown him.
If you are no longer proud of who your partner is, then there is no point having a relationship. Once you feel the need to hide your relationship from your friends and family because of these series of embarrassments, just walkway.
You get no support from your partner
In many healthy relationships, the support of your partner is usually the bedrock of your achievements, financially and career wise. If you are ever stuck in a position where you have to forfeit your career to save your relationship, I’m afraid, you have no future in that relationship.
There is need for balance between you and your partner’s individual careers and your relationship. Once you both are no longer active in support towards each other, that’s a red flag. Your partner could start to resent everything about you, your success, circle of friends, etc. Your partner may also prevent you from having certain friends around you. He becomes unnecessarily insecure.
You are already thinking of someone else.
This is not about being attracted to certain people or daydreaming. These are normal occurrences, especially if you have had different relationships in your life or met so many great guys in person. However, if you are fantasizing about someone else so often, if another person, rather than your partner is taking up the huge space in your mind, it’s only fair that you end the relationship.
There is a difference in perspective and maturity level.
At one point, you have always envisioned yourself spending the rest of your life with that handsome dude, but that’s usually not the case. A balanced relationship demands that each partner contributes his/her all to it, but when the commitment and spark is no longer there, such a relationship is heading for the rocks.
Once there is a separateness between you and your partner in terms of perspective and maturity level, there is no intention of staying in that relationship. You and your partner are ought to challenge each other and inspire each other. if these things are lacking in your relationship, then it’s time to take a bow.
There is no bedroom communication
The bedroom is a powerful place for couples to share their feelings, go over the day’s struggles, successes, failures, and everything in between. If you and your partner are unable to communicate with zeal in the bedroom as the relationship progresses, it’s a sign that you have outgrown him and the relationship.
At one time, you may have tried to reignite the bedroom passion, but it’s not working. You get failed attempts each time you try. Getting to this stage of your relationship is a sign that you have to let him go.
A lot of women don’t know when to call it quits in their relationships. That is because they still have the notion that one day, maybe just one day, it will all be over and they can have a fresh start. Most times, it doesn’t work that way. The art of growing up together is dependent on whether you both are willing to learn each other’s weaknesses, and strength. It’s not by mere words, but by actions.
The great sex, the gifts, and other goodies can deceive you into staying, but is that what you really want? You are not obligated to remain in one relationship forever. Breaking-up on your first can be demoralizing, but it’s all part of the process. Once you feel your relationship is no longer romantic and a shadow of what it was earlier, call it quits. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love him, but you simply can’t continue with something that is not inspiring you to grow emotionally, financially, and career-wise.
RELATED STORIES:
