Are you breaking up with your guy? It’s even more painful when you both have a lot of friends together. You must be wondering how to tell all your friends that you both are no longer together. How do you not keep bumping into him when you visit a friend or hang out at the weekend?
Managing this level of breakup requires a high level of maturity from both ends to keep things in other even after the friendship and not create more enmity between friends. In this informative piece, we are going to take you through essential steps you have to consider when breaking up with a guy whom you have a lot of common friends.
Let’s get down to business!
How to Break Up In a Matured Way
Being in love gives you one of the best feelings you can ever have. It is almost an out-of-this-world experience, and you make a lot of plans and promises about the future. You don’t care whether the relationship will last or not.
All you can relish in the deep feeling you have for your man and the joy it is giving you. But everything has an end, and your passion won’t continue forever. You will come to a point where you feel confused and even begin to question your motive and whether you are actually doing the right thing. This period often comes before a breakup, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Your happiness should come first, and move on with your life is not a bad idea. But don’t go about it as though you have made the biggest mistake of your life and can’t wait to get out. You and your man have invested time and energy to get to where you are right now.
Taking things easy while you work your way out is the right approach. If you don’t want to hurt your man more than is necessary, the following steps will help you do it the right way.
Be Realistic
Since you have been in the relationship for a long time, bringing it to an end will be tough for both of you. Keep in mind that there will be unexpected reactions from the other person. Discussing breakup is never easy, and life after ending a relationship is not as simple as it sounds.
You have had someone stand by you through good times and bad times. Leaving them may make you vulnerable to a lot of things. You are about to test an untried territory, so you don’t know what is actually waiting for you out there. Make your discussion with your partner as realistic as possible and prepare for what lies beyond the breakup.
When you break up mutually, your partner will have no course to go about ruining your name and image to your friends. Although it hurts to break up, when you both come to an understanding why the relationship will no longer work, it would be easier to separate without holding any grudge that would spread out to your friends and loved ones.
Plan it Out
Breaking up with someone you were in love with can take its toll on both of you. The difficulty will reduce if you carefully plan it out before breaking the news. Look for the best place to meet for the discussion which must not be a public place.
Find somewhere you can spend hours talking about the best way to go about it without hurting each other deeper. Relationships, even the best of them, are fragile and should be handled cautiously.
Don’t end a relationship by sending text messages or placing a call across to your man. You need to see face-to-face to discuss ending your relationship.
It will be unfair to break up with a man you share a lot in common over the phone. Even if he is the reason why you are calling it to quit, your friends will not see it in this light. Thus, you may also risk losing them.
Make sure you are fair in the whole process. Try and talk things through with the guy before you call it quit. You can also involve one or two of your friends to help mediate the breakup if your guy is becoming unreasonable.
Also, be honest about the reason for the breakup when you discuss it with your friends. Never try to pitch your friends against your ex even if you were hurt by the breakup.
Remain Calm
Your partner may not be the best guy you have ever come across. You don’t expect him not to have some flaws. Even if he cheated on you, it shouldn’t make you lose your cool. Behave as calm as possible and be willing to discuss the breakup as politely as you can.
You don’t yell at him or call him a cheat and heap the whole blame on him. Your words are important when it comes to initiating a breakup for good. Do it in a manner that you will have no regrets for doing what you did.
Be Honest
You do no one any good by being dishonest or hiding your real motive. If there is any time to show honesty, it is when discussing breakup. Without being mean, tell your man why you are leaving him and why you think it is the right thing to do.
The relationship may have lacked a physical connection or a happy future. Be truthful and let him know the reasons and don’t stop until you show appreciation for the time and resources he spent loving you.
Avoid using your career as an excuse for wanting to end the relationship. Your partner will see through your flimsy excuses and realize that you are not being honest. Say the real reasons and let the matter stay that way.
Stand on Your Words
It is okay to end a relationship when you are no more comfortable, or you perceive that it is headed for rocks. Your partner may likely not take it seriously and may tell you that you are making the biggest mistake of your life.
He may remind you how emotional you are and what you are going to run back into his arms, begging to be accepted once again. It is as expected, so don’t let that bother you. Stand on your word and avoid anything that will make you break them. If you understand why you are ending the relationship, his actions will mean nothing to your decision.
Decide How to Tell Others
Whether or not you want it, your family and friends will find out about your breakup. You cannot hide for long before those annoying phone calls start coming in. Discuss with your partner the right time to tell other people in your lives.
You may want to say to them right away, but your partner may want some more time to take in what just happened. Respect his decision to wait a little longer before informing family and friends. Stand firm on your reasons and don’t let the wait change your mind.
Plan Your Next Move
Moving forward should be the next thing on your agenda. Your breakup must be clean and permanent to allow you to move on with your life. Don’t give in to night calls, coincidental hangouts or accidental kisses.
You will never be free to pursue a better and new life after the breakup. Stick to your decision and wait for the right time and the right person to come. Even if nothing is happening after a long while, don’t initiate a date with him.
Sometimes, staying as friends is just the perfect situation to make you run back to him. If you really want to move forward, break free of any form of attachment.
Respect Your Ex
He may be the reason for the ending the relationship, but the truth is that he is human. When you discuss with friends or family, don’t call him names and giggle girlishly. It is easy to justify yourself and put the blame on your ex.
Respect his personality and try to avoid anything that will damage his reputation. You may not want him any longer, but some other girls may see some good in him. Just as you have your own life to live, he too has a life, and you have to give him that chance.
Take Time to Heal
The matter of the heart can drain you emotionally. If your relationship ended unexpectedly, avoid moving into another relationship immediately. You are going to hurt yourself further and may not even enjoy the new one.
Stay away from dating anyone so you can have time to critically look at what went wrong in the relationship and how you can do better in a new relationship in the future. Make good use of the time alone to assess the situation and work on yourself to avoid future reoccurrence.
Summing It Up
The following tips will help you break up amicably with your guy whom you share common friends with. Remember, the key to a scorn-free break up is maturity. Make sure your man is not scathed by the breakup and be honest with your friends. You will be fine.
